40: My Blessed Life

(Photo source)

Well, this is it, my last 40-B4-40 post. Thank you for sharing the journey with me.

I made it to my fourth decade, and looking back, I have realized how incredibly blessed I am. I would love to share with you just a few (40, to be exact) of the many blessings in my life:

1. The Creator of the universe loves me and has a great plan for me.
2. I get to do life with my best friend.
3. We will celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary next month.
4. I have an amazing daughter who is kind, thoughtful, and so very creative!
5. I have a wonderful son who is sweet and energetic and keeps me laughing!
6. My parents are now 40+ years in love and a great example of a godly marriage.
7. I have my dad's love for books and knowledge.
8. I have my mom's love for people and chocolate.
9. My sisters are two of my dearest friends (and are the only ones who truly understand how "unique" our family is!)
10. My two brothers-in-law (on my side) cherish my sisters and respect our parents.
11. My father- and mother-in-law are are also 40+ years in love.
12. I have been "thoroughly adopted" into my husband's family...parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins...etc. It's like I have an entire "second" family!
13. I have a very close (somewhat crazy) extended family whom I am blessed to see regularly.
14. I have three adorable nieces and three amazing nephews.
15. I was able to witness my nephew's miraculous journey of healing.
16. I still keep in touch with a lifelong family friend who consistently encourages me across the miles (and whose blog name I "borrowed" for this post...thanks, Lora! :))
17. I have an incredibly supportive group of friends.
18. We are blessed to go to a church where we are fed truth, challenged to grow, and enjoy community like nowhere else!
19. We have the best small group in the northern hemisphere (I really don't know much about the southern hemisphere...they might be the best there, too).
20. The same loyal, somewhat-spoiled dog has slept next to my bed every night for the last 11 years.
21. We live in a fantastic, family-centered community!
22. Our kids go to good schools where its evident the staff and administration care deeply about the students.
23. I am privileged to do what I love: 1) stay home to raise my kids and 2) write.
24. God has been faithful in the good times and the difficult times.
25. I have survived cancer.
26. God has given us our dream home.
27. At age 40, I weigh 30 lbs less than I did at age 20 (yes, it's true!)
28. At age 20, I could barely run .5 mile; two weeks ago I completed my third 5K!
29. I have two strong legs on which to run.
30. I have been privileged to meet, serve under, and be influenced by some amazing people.
31. I have had the privilege of serving and leading some pretty incredible kids who have grown into such impressive adults. (You know who you are, Reality Drama!)
32. I have co-authored a book.
33. I have had the opportunity to travel to 35 states and 4 other countries.
34. I have been to the top of the Eiffel Tower.
35. I have hiked a mountain in Alaska.
36. I have a college degree.
37. It's almost my absolute favorite time of year...FALL!
38. I can read...and read...and read...and read...
39. I am living exactly where I want to be, doing exactly what I want to do at this season in my life.
40. The next 10 years are looking pretty exciting!

Summertime Fun, Part 3: Camp!

This was the first year Little Miss was old enough to go to church camp....overnight, sleep-away-from-home-for-2-nights church camp. I have attended many church camps in my lifetime in various roles: camper, counselor, kitchen staff, ministry group, etc. I'm just as comfortable in a camp dorm as the staff housing or the kitchen.

It's a different story altogether when you're preparing to put your firstborn on a bus full of children and send her two hours away for three days. It's an even bigger deal to do it when she's never slept away from home.

So, we arranged for friends to watch Little Man while Hubby was at work for a few days and Little Miss and I headed off to camp.

Getting ready to load up!

I'm not sure who was more nervous. While this was her first camp experience ever,  it was my first experience in more than 10 years! To be honest, I wasn't sure my body would ever forgive me.

I quickly realized I had nothing to worry about. If you've ever been to camp (and loved it...which I did!), it doesn't take long to fall in love with it all over again. I think Little Miss has fallen in love with it as well. From the cafeteria chants to the chapel services and even the Mud Games...she seemed to love it all. I think I see a new tradition in our future. (I reserve the right to feel differently in another 10 years!)

The Green Team...Go Ireland!

A very tired camper...glad to be home!

 

40-B4-40: The Haircut

Well summer is quickly slipping by, and I have not kept up my end of the deal on the 40-B4-40 posts. And yes, I realized that in one short month, I will cross that line into the next decade, so in honor of such a moment (and to take my mind off that fact), here is another installment of 40-B4-40:
At the beginning of the summer, I got my hair cut. Not just a trim, but a hair cut…like 3-4 inches cut off! What started out as “let’s take it to the top of my shoulders,” ended with me leaving the salon in a slight state of panic.

I have very thick, curly hair, so I did plan to cut it shorter for the summer, just not quite as short as it ended up. It didn’t look bad; however, the shock of it all took me back several years to the last schockingly-short haircut experience I had. If you’ve had one, you know that dreadful feeling that sticks with you for life.

In my first experience (in my late 20s), I was standing in front of the mirror simply staring at the horror that used to be my hair when my roommate walked in, immediately donned a horrified look, and sincerely asked, “What happened?!” (Not a comforting thing to hear when you’re already in a fragile state of mind.) I knew it was “just hair” and yes, it did grow back. But if you’ve ever had a “sketchy” hair cut, you know the panic…the overwhelming, dreadful feeling of I’m going to look like this until it does grow back, and there’s nothing I can do about it!

I felt that same feeling of dread overtake me as I smiled weakly at the stylist, gathered my children and headed out the door. Like I said, it didn’t look bad, but I was swimming in my own thoughts, unable to see myself (or my hair) objectively. Do I like it this short? Is it really cute? Or just weird? Can I pull off hair this short? Or do I just look like a giant Q-Tip (remember…thick, curly hair!)
I decided to consult a trust friend (who had been the roommate in the previous scenario, so I knew she would be brutally honest!) She assured me it was, indeed, ”a cute and fun summer cut” and that it was just the shock that I needed to get over. By that evening, I was excited about it and looking forward to showing off my new summer ’do.

(The picture I texted my friend...can you tell from my
worried smile I was trying to be OK with it? )

While we were out that evening we saw some friends, and would you believe…NO ONE SAID ANYTHING ABOUT MY HAIR?!?!? I mean, honestly, how could they not have noticed?! It was soooo short!!

I started thinking…what if it’s so bad they don’t know what to say?! (I now realize how ridiculous that thought is, but when you’re in the middle of a style panic, you have these irrational thoughts.)

Later, I ran into a good friend who I realized had been crying. She smiled at me weakly and said, "I like your hair." Well, score one for my hair cut, I guess. But I couldn't fully enjoy the victory of my style makeover, because I knew why my friend had been crying, and it had nothing to do with haircuts or style.

I knew she and her family were in the midst of a terrible trial...one I wouldn't wish on anyone. I didn't know the details of her tears that evening, but I knew they were related to what she was going through. Only then, did I stop to consider other friends I had seen or spoken to recently: one was still looking for a job, one had lost a 9-month-old to a rare illness, one had been trying to sell a home for almost a year, one was facing surgery in just a few weeks, one whose sister is battling brain cancer, one was in the middle of an unthinkable legal battle with family members, and the list went on.

I had been so consumed with my silly little hair-do, that I hadn’t truly stopped to think about the needs of those around me. Before you think me completely heartless, I have spent many hours talking with, listening to, and praying for these same friends and their situations. But today it had been all about me. My hair and my situation had literally consumed my thoughts and energy.

It reminded me of how my children can sometimes be so completely consumed with their own problems they become oblivious to anything going on around them. How many times have I been doing something (making dinner, doing laundry, etc.) only to have them come to me with a fresh list of demands, “Mom, I need you to…” “Where is my…” “Can you…” “He won’t let me…”

We tolerate, even expect, such selfishness from children, because self-absorption is a sign of immaturity. Children have to be taught to become aware of and compassionate toward those around them. It’s not often a trait they find on their own (although we’re so thankful when they do!).

I’m sorry to say it’s a sign of immaturity in myself as well. When will I learn it’s not really about me anyway? God is teaching me (through His Word and through others) to look beyond myself, my needs, my daily “emergencies,” and focus on the needs of others. When I can do that, He can use me to demonstrate His love to those who are hurting.

This thing called life is about more than my wants, my insecurities, and my to-do list. I won’t truly realize the joy in finding His grace until I learn to look outside myself and truly see those around me. What are their needs? What can I do for them?

That’s what makes this thing called life worth it. That’s what His grace in action looks like.
Maybe one of these days I’ll finally get over myself (and my hair) and remember that!

Praying for Sarah

Have you ever had one of those days? Mine was yesterday.

We overslept...every one of us. This was followed by much rushing around, random barking of drill-sergeant-like orders, whining of children (because no one likes to be barked at), sibling squabbles, and a mad dash out the door, backpacks and lunch bags dragging haphazardly behind.

As I threw my make-up in my purse to be applied at some later point, I grabbed for my keys and happened to glance down at my bare toes...my disgusting, chipped-polished, neglected, bare toes. I sighed in complete frustration. "How do those moms do it...the ones with hair and make-up in place, manis and pedis freshly done, children fashionably dressed and coiffed, and arriving everywhere in time?" (As if those moms exist outside my imagination, right? Someone, please tell me I'm right.) I threw some nail polish in my all-purpose purse and headed out the door.

An hour-and-a-half later, I was relieved to make it (on time!) to my first appointment of the day. Both kids made it to the right school with the proper backpacks and lunches. Milk had been purchased and dropped off in the fridge at home. And I had managed to apply my make-up and a fresh coat of toenail polish in the parking lot (after I parked). Whew! I had made it!

I glanced around the waiting room for a seat and pulled out my phone, thankful for a few minutes of calm to check my e-mail and peruse Facebook before my name was called.

"You can sit here," a sweet voice caught me off guard. There were plenty of available seats, so the offer of one right next to a complete stranger took me by surprise. I smiled, thanked her, and, trying to follow social protocol, took the next seat over.

Ahh...back to my phone.

"Are you here for treatment?" came the sweet voice again. That was the first moment I had truly thought about where I was. Of course I knew where I was...my oncologist's office. The appointment had been on my calendar for months; yet another routine follow-up.

I smiled at her. "I had treatment a year and a half ago. I'm here for a follow up."
 
"Good for you!" she gushed. I looked up at a tired, ashen, 60-something face, and that's when I first noticed it...the smile. That weak and weary, yet determined, I'm-going-to-get-through-this-and-be-a-survivor smile. If you've had cancer, or known someone who has, you (hopefully) know that smile.

My beautiful, new friend, Sarah, told me how she had a mass in her side. They had to remove part of her kidney and her adrenal glands. Her husband had lung cancer; they had to remove one entire side of his lung. He was on oxygen now, "but he's doing good." Now her cancer had returned and she was undergoing radiation treatments. If her radiation doesn't work this time, "it's just up to God" she said. "He's big enough. He can do anything."

Sarah and her husband had to sell their home with acreage and move into something smaller and more manageable. Their friends and family had moved them while they were out to dinner one evening. She was never able to have children, but her step-daughter drove her an hour one-way for treatments. They were "holding onto God because He always comes through."

This woman had a laundry list a mile long of things she could be griping about or frustrated over (the least of which was toenail polish!), and yet she chose to strike up a conversation with a complete stranger and bring a little encouragement.

Not long ago, I had visited this office every day for 7 weeks. I was just like Sarah...waiting for another round of radiation in my sweatpants and T-shirt. I was tired. I was weak. I was working hard to make it to treatments and get through my days.

Now that my life has (for the most part) returned to normal, those days seem so long ago. When I completed my treatments, a fellow-survivor told me "This gives you a whole new perspective. You'll never sweat the small stuff again." It's true...cancer changes you like nothing else will. Facing it, and surviving it, will change your perspective. It did mine. But my friend had no way of knowing how deep my Type-A Personality runs. Not even two years out, and I'm already "sweatin' the small stuff" all over again.

The all-too-familiar voice came over the loud-speaker, "Sarah Brown to the treatment room." Sarah leaned over and gave me a hug. "Congratulations," she said, "and take care."

I looked around at all the other patients waiting for treatment. Each had a story like Sarah...like me.
I realized I had learned two invaluable lessons from my friend, Sarah:

1. Focus on the positive. An old song puts it this way: "Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative." Philippians 4:8 says to "think on these things: whatever is...lovely, admirable...excellent, praiseworthy..." Sarah could have easily grumbled about her own health, her husband's health, or any other trial she had faced in her long life. Instead, she celebrated with me in a victory that had faded among the busyness of daily schedules and routines. What if I had made the choice that morning to focus on God's blessings instead of my shortcomings? Maybe I wouldn't have been so worried about a little thing like toenail polish.

2. Take the time to show a little kindness and give a little encouragement. If Sarah hadn't gone out of her way to offer a seat and strike up a conversation, I would have been content to keep my nose glued to my phone. I might have read a few e-mails or caught up on Facebook updates, but I also would have missed the opportunity to meet a warrior named Sarah who turned my whole day around.

As she walked off for another round of radiation, I told Sarah I would pray for her and for her husband. I intend to do just that. If you think about it, please pray for my precious friend Sarah.

As you go through your day take a moment to thank God for His blessings. Find someone to be a Sarah to...it might just be what they need today.

I Did It: My First 5K!!

I mentioned a few weeks ago that I was going to be running a 5K in celebration of my health journey this last year. Well, today was that day!

I must admit, I was pretty nervous. I am not what you'd call athletic. I never have been. I workout regularly...in the privacy of my own home, but rarely do I attempt anything that requires any amount of athletic skill or coordination in front of others. It's one thing to run 3.1 miles on my treadmill in the comfort of my own basement. It's quite another to do it on the back country roads of southwest Missouri with 1,000 of my closest friends.

That's why I was so glad to have my running buddy, Sheila. I'm not typically one who likes to run with someone else (and neither is Sheila), but she offered to run with me and I accepted. After all, she's kind of the one who inspired me...another stay-at-home mom with little athletic background, Sheila has begun running 5Ks, 10Ks, and even half-marathons. I figured if she can do it with three kids, I can do it with two! So I did. (Thanks, Sheila!)

Me and my running buddy, Sheila.

Getting ready to run

Originally my goal was to finish, but secretly I wanted to finish in 45 minutes. I set out to do a 3 min/2 min jog/walk interval for the whole race. (That's what I'd been doing in my training.) I started strong. I must admit there's something amazing about trekking down the road with hundreds of other people with the same goal in sight. It was especially inspiring to me to do a run at my church where so many knew my story and were cheering me on. It felt great every time I heard someone say, "Way to go, Nancy. You're doing great!"

The course was down-and-back, and there was a huge, long hill leading up to the turn-around. That did me in...Ms. Trained-on-my-Treadmill-Instead-of-Actual-Hills. I was pretty wiped out on the way back, and ended up walking more than I would have liked. My leg held up OK, but I could definitely tell a difference the last mile. The "bad" leg felt like it was twice as heavy as the other one.

I beat my best training time by a whole minute, so I was pretty happy with that. Hubby keeps reminding me that a year ago I was hobbling around on crutches with my leg completely wrapped from toe to thigh. Today I finished a 5K in 44 minutes and 16 seconds. I'd say I did alright! :)

Off to First Grade!

It's that time of year again: This morning I handed over my first-born to a woman I've only met once, trusting her to impart knowledge, wisdom, and character into my child for seven hours every day. While this year was not nearly as emotional as last year's drop-off, I was surprised by the sadness I felt again when I walked out of the school.

We did a great job of soaking up every moment of the summer. We went swimming, visited family, had numerous outings, worked on craft projects, and spent plenty of time just playing and being lazy. But I still felt a twinge of regret when I walked her to her class this morning. I couldn't help but think, Did I do enough? Could I have done more? For the next 9 months, she'll spend more time with teachers and friends, and therefore be more open to their influence. Have I done enough to prepare her?

I realize this may make me sound a little paranoid. Trust me, I am not wanting to wrap my child in bubble wrap or lock her away in a tower somewhere. We love our community and our school. Her teacher last year was a God-send, and the Principal is amazing. I've heard great things about her teacher this year, and I'm sure she'll have a fantastic year.

Part of it is simply my personality; I tend to get a little sentimental and misty-eyed over any change in our lives. But aside from that, it's also the fact that we take this parenting thing pretty seriously. Yes, we have other interests and responsibilities (work, church, friendships, etc.), but they all take a backseat to investing in our family and raising our children. We made a conscious decision six years ago for me to stay home to raise our children, because we feel it is our primary responsibility to train them and teach them. While we are thankful for a church, a community, and a school that support our goals in educating and training our children, the primary responsibility falls to Hubby and myself.

So that's why it's hard for me to walk away and leave my Little Miss in the more-than-capable hands of her first-grade teacher. I'm sure in a few days the emotion of it all will fade and the stress of the morning rush take over. But for now, thank you for letting me bask in the emotion of it all again.

[Parents] do not provoke your children to anger,(C) but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4, ESV)

My Least Favorite Thing to Do: Waiting

I've had to go back and read my last post several times in the last week as we have still not moved into our new house. Isn't it funny how our perspective can change from the mountain top to the valley? The mountain is the same size, whether you're looking up at it from the bottom or at the summit looking back over how far you've come. However, it seems so much more intimidating from the foot of the mountain than it's peak. And once you've made it to the top, that doesn't mean it's smooth sailing from that point...there's another one just around the corner waiting to be climbed.

That's where we are now...after a year and a half of waiting, praying, searching, and hoping, we finally found our house. We were not only on top of the mountain; we were on top of the world. It is a great house and we were getting it for a great price. Suddenly, we turned a corner and there was another mountain to climb. This one doesn't necessarily require much action on our part...it's simply more waiting. Waiting on others to do their part. Waiting on the process to be completed. You may not know this about me...I don't like to wait. I find it more exhausting and taxing than actually doing something.

But alas, we wait. There's not much else to do at this point. So here we sit....waiting and praying. I must continually remind myself what I wrote before about God's timing being perfect. I still believe that...it's just difficult to remember it. It makes it more difficult that our delay appears to be caused by negligence and oversight on the part of others. That makes it even more difficult to wait. But what else can one do.....simply wait. I've always loved this song, but it means more to me now than ever before...

While I'm Waiting
by John Waller

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience

While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

First Day of Kindergarten

This is it. The day I've waited for since we came home from the hospital with a tiny, pink bundle more than 5 years ago. I remember in those first few extremely-difficult days of parenthood holding my tiny pink bundle (who never seemed to stop screaming) and thinking, "I'm not sure I can do this all day every day for the next 5 years!"

I was very excited to be a mom and so blessed to have a beautiful daughter. But I had been in the workforce for ten years. I had grown accustomed to accomplishing things each day. I had come to enjoy my independence and relished having time to do things for myself...like take shower and brush my teeth. In those early days my bleary, sleep-deprived eyes couldn't see past the endless diapers, feedings, and laundry. I felt helpless, overwhelmed, and wondered if I'd make it until Hubby came home from work that day...let alone to the day she goes to school. That day seemed forever away.

The years sped by, and "that day" arrived all too quickly...today. I woke my pink-bundle-turned-princess up early, put pig-tails in her hair, made her favorite breakfast (pancakes), loaded her up with backpack and lunch box, drove her a few blocks away, and left her in the care of a complete stranger for the next seven hours. As I walked away from her classroom this morning I didn't feel relieved. I felt sad.

I have no regrets. I obviously wouldn't trade the time at home with her for anything in the world. Looking back I feel that I made the most of every moment...play dates, trips to the park, the zoo, and other fun places, cooking lessons, tea parties playing dress-up...I did it all. There were times when I probably could have left the laundry unfolded for another game of Chutes 'n' Ladders. But for the most part, I gave it my all.

I know my job as a parent is nowhere near an end. I have many more years of fun and influence to enjoy. And I still have another one at home with whom to enjoy every moment. But I will no longer have my baby to myself all day every day. She'll be under the influence of another person for the majority of her day. We will have our summers...but even then my time with her will become more and more secondary to time with friends.

I'm a little sad today. But I'm also very proud ...proud of my Little Miss who walked right into her class, hung up her backpack, found her seat, and gave me an "I'm OK, Mom, you can go now" look. I'm also thankful...thankful for a great school with faculty and staff who truly care about children, thankful for a teacher who is kind and comforting, and thankful for faith in a God who I know is with my daughter even when I am not.

Now, if you'll excuse me I have to grab some Kleenex, fix my makeup, and go pick up my baby from school.

A Fun Day at Easter Express

Today our church hosted its annual Easter Express. It's one of the highlights for our kids each year, and this year was no exception. We had so much fun...the weather was gorgeous and there was plenty of fun and excitement for everyone!

Our first stop was the fire truck

Little Man even got to sit inside (He LOVED it!)

And they got to go inside a real ambulance.

Then on to the egg hunting.

Little Man was starting to get the hang of it
(once he realized there is candy inside the eggs!)

He was pretty proud of his accomplishment.

Inspecting the bounty

Then on to the face painting station.

There were baby chicks to pet
(but neither of them were too sure about that)

The highlight for Little Miss was her visit with the Easter Bunny.

For Little Man it was the train ride--hands down.

Hope you find time this Easter weekend to spend time with family and friends, and most importantly, remember the reason we celebrate. He is Risen!!

"He has risen, just as he said." (Matthew 28:6)

Happy Birthday, Daremo!

In honor of my brother-in-law's birthday, I wanted to post a picture he painted recently. It's a powerful reminder as Easter approaches:

But he was pierced for our transgressions,

he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
(Isaiah 53:5)

To see more of examples of Daremo's artistic eye, visit his flickr page.

Happy Birthday, Daremo!

Momentary Troubles

Ever had one of those days? I've had several lately...

A couple of weeks ago my laptop died. Last weekend the coffee maker did the same...just as I was making coffee for some guests. One day last week Little Man threw up all over the van while waiting to pick up Little Miss from preschool. (He was fine right after; his car seat and the interior of the van were another story!) Last month we learned Little Miss has a chronic eye condition that requires a lot of attention (nothing serious, but uncomfortable for her). We are on our third round of medication, none of which are working fast enough for us. Add to that the ongoing house hunt, the increasing levels of stress at Hubby's work, and Daylight Saving Time, and well, you get the idea.

So, imagine my frustration today when I logged onto our desktop (now our sole computer) and found out I had inadvertantly downloaded something that left behind a nice little gift (a.ka. spy ware and a virus). Sorry Hubby! The good news is Hubby is an IT guy and can salvage it. The bad news is...it's one more thing to fix. I'm starting to think I might have the opposite of "the Midas touch" (Shall we call it the "Nancy touch"?)

That's why I was so glad when I read a post last weekend from Frugal Coupon Living. Every Sunday she posts Treasures From Heaven, and last week's post was exactly what I needed. So much so that I read it again today, just for inspiration.

Building on her idea, I've decided to list those things in my life that are going RIGHT these days. Here goes:

• I have a wonderful husband who loves God, adores me and our children, and works hard each day to be sure we are cared for, provided for, and enjoying life.
  
• I have a beautiful, sensitive daughter whose imagination knows no bounds and who recently asked Jesus to come into her heart and be her best friend.
• I have a sweet son who amazes me every day with his intelligence, humor, and nonstop charm.
  
• I have a cozy home, food to eat, a vehicle to drive, clothes to wear, books to read, and toys to enjoy with my kids.
• We are blessed to be a part of a fabulous church where we are challenged and inspired in our faith.
• We have wonderful, caring friends with whom we can share our lives.
• I have extended family who, although I do not get to see them often enough, I know they are simply a phone call away.
• I am healthy, and I'm learning to take even better care of myself through nutrition and exercise (and feeling better because of it).
  
• Today alone I was able to buy groceries for my family, take my daughter to preschool, spend quality, one-on-one time with my son, chat with a good friend on the phone, drive through neighborhoods and "dream" a little, and give and get lots of hugs and kisses. (And the day's not over yet!)

All in all, I am very blessed. Sometimes it's hard to remember that when all I can see is everything going "wrong." Maybe I should take time more often to make lists like the one above and get a little perspective.

How's your perspective? Do you need to refocus? If so, grab a pen and paper and start listing what's going right (or what you've accomplished today). You might be amazed at how long that list is...I know I was. :)

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

--2 Corinthians 4: 16-18

9 Things I Learned in 2009

1. God's timing is always better than mine.
2. 'Tis better to listen than to speak.
3. Attitude is contagious...especially mama's!
4. God will not give me more than I can bear.
5. Contrary to what I usually believe, my way is not always the best way.
6. There may be something to this "organic" thing after all.
7. Life is a continual lesson in finding balance.
8. I cannot (and should not) control everything.
9. Contentment comes in finding joy in the journey.

Happy 2010 to you all!

Happy Thanksgiving

We are getting ready to hit the road for grandma's house in a few short hours, so I wanted to take this opportunity to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. For those we are unable to be with this year, we will miss you deeply. We pray everyone has a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving Day!

"I will give thanks to the LORD because of his
righteousness and will sing praise to the name of
the LORD Most High."

-Psalm 7:17

New Healthcare Plan Not all it's Cracked Up To Be

I realize I have been MIA lately. Our vacation a couple weeks ago put a halt to other things (like computer-time). You know how it is, getting ready for the trip, then going on the trip, then recovering from the trip, then catching up from being gone on said trip. It's not that I don't have anything to say, it's just that I can't find the time to say it. But I felt this is an important issue and one for which I need to make the time.

You're probably aware that I don't often blog about politics, and those who know me personally know that it's not often topic of conversation I normally engage in. However, the right to life and to conscience is an issue I do feel strongly about, so when I came across this tidbit of information I could not help but pass it along.

Unless you reside under a rock, I'm sure you've heard MUCH about the president's health care reform bill. Personally, I've heard so much hype about it that I'm really sick and tired of the term "health care reform." But, at the same time, that's about all I have heard...hype. I think the average American (like myself) isn't really aware of what the bill includes. You may be surprised (as I was) when you watch the following video.

[For some reason, blogger is not letting me embed the video.
To see the video, go here.]

Whatever your stance in the abortion debate, I hope we can all agree that no one (including medical professionals) should be forced to perform an act that violates their conscience...especially not in our great nation which was founded on individual and religious freedom.

If you are a pro-life supporter, I pray you will take the time to contact your representative and let your voice be heard in opposition to taxpayer-funded abortions. (For your representative's contact information as well as talking points, click here.) I called my representative's office this morning. It was a simple process and only took a few minutes. Please take a few moments to let your voice be heard.

Praying for Baby Zoe's recovery from surgery

I've been wanting to do an update on Zoe for awhile, but didn't have any recent photos/video to post. But finally, here it is...

Zoe and family are in Atlanta as he recovers from surgery yesterday to correct a non-threatening defect called hypospadias. I talked with my mom and dad this morning (they are also in Atlanta) and they said the surgery went very well. The released Zoe last night (didn't even keep him overnight) and he stayed with Jim & Carmen at the Ronald McDonald House. (Nanee & PaPa kept the other 2 kids at the hotel with them.) The surgeon will check Zoe in a few weeks and determine when and if a follow-up surgery will be needed.

You can see get more updates, see additional video of Zoe, and even hear him laughing at his web site.

Thank you for all your continued prayer for my sister and her family!

God Bless America

Happy 4th of July to you all! Yes, I know it's only the 3rd, but in our family we are considering it the holiday already. Hubby is off work, we've had a nice, relaxing morning, and now we are getting ready to head out to our church's annual "I Love America" celebration--our largest outreach of the year and our city's biggest fireworks celebration. The kids love it, and we always have a great time with friends from our church family.

This year our church is partnering with GodTV to broadcast the event which will include the first ever Angel Mission Benefit Concert. The event will include a live-feed of Angel Mission's drilling of a clean-water well in Kenya, Africa. Those of us at the event, as well as GodTV viewers will have the opportunity to make a donation toward the drilling of 25 other clean-water wells in Kenya. A $5 donation will provide clean water for one Kenyan for 20 years! For more information on the event or to donate to Angel Mission's Water for Kenya project, click here.

Off to get the kiddos ready for a day of fun as well as an opportunity to change the life of someone on the other side of the world. It's a good day! If you get a chance, tune in to GodTV to see what we're up to today, and consider donating toward the project in Kenya.

God bless America!

Finding an Unseen God

A few months ago a friend of mine introduced me to the book Anonymous by Alicia Britt Chole. At the time all I know about Alicia was that she had spoken at the women's conference at our church a couple of years ago. I was unable to hear her speak then, but I heard great things about her.


I got the book and started reading it, and...wow! It is definitely a must-read for anyone who has gone through (or is going through) a time in life when you wonder what happened to the dreams you once had, will they ever be fulfilled, has God forgotten about you, or any reason for wondering what God is doing in the midst of your life. I am still going through the book--slowly. There is so much to "chew on" that I find myself having to take breaks from it and really internalize what I've just read.

I was so impressed with Alicia's writing style and her ability to genuinely communicate such deep, theological concepts that I visited and thoroughly devoured her web site and blog. I also recently had the opportunity to hear her speak and to meet her. She is just as genuine and amazingly passionate in person.

Alicia has an amazing story about her search for God and equally powerful story of her struggle to bear children, including her choice to trust God and His provision in giving her three gorgeous children. She chronicles her conversion from stoic atheist to devout and passionate follower of Christ in her latest book, Finding an Unseen God. I've not yet read it, but from what I know of Alicia and her writing, I'm sure it's captivating, challenging, and poignant.


I highly recommend either of these resources (any of her resources actually), and I am looking forward to reading Finding an Unseen God as soon as I finish my journey through Anonymous. I hope you will visit her site and check out her resources. I'm sure you'll find something there that will touch and challenge you.

The Shack: A Book Review

I must admit, I was a bit skeptical about reading The Shack by William Young. A book about an "encounter" with God (representative in three human forms including an African-American female and an Asian female) just sounded a bit "kooky" to me. However, it was recommended to me by a couple of good friends who I greatly respect, so I had to check it out. (Plus, all the controversy surrounding it piqued my interest a bit!)

I actually read the book a few months ago. (It was originally on my Fall Into Reading 2008 list, but I didn't get to it until December.) I failed to get the review done in the midst of all the holiday madness (then the New Year madness, which seems to have led right into the February madness....when will it end?!). Now I am finally getting around to the review.

From the back cover:

Mackenzie Allen Philips' youngest daughter, Missy, had been abducted during a family vacation and evidence that she may have been brutally murdered is found in an abandoned shack deep in the Oregon wilderness. Four years later in the midst of his great sadness, Mack receives a suspicious note, apparently from God, inviting him back to that shack for a weekend. Against his better judgment, he arrives at the shack on a wintry afternoon and walks back into his darkest nightmare. What he finds there will change Mack's world forever.

In a world where religion seems to grow increasingly irrelevant, The Shack wrestles with the timeless question, “Where is God in a world so filled with unspeakable pain?” The answers Mack receives will astound you and perhaps transform you as much as it did him.

I found the book surprisingly interesting and even challenging. It's extremely well-written in my opinion, and I found myself devouring entire chapters without realizing how much time had passed. At the same time, I came across spiritual concepts that required me to stop and "chew" for a bit, making sure I thoroughly digested them.

Mr. Young has done a wonderful job of weaving spiritual and even theological allegory throughout his novel. His demonstration of God's loving and nurturing nature is a refreshing change from how we sometimes see God characterized, especially in fiction. I feared that Young's portrayal of God would, at very least, border on the absurd. Instead, I found his representation of God in the three characters a stark reminder of God's amazing uniqueness and a refreshing demonstration of His unconditional love for each of us.

For those who have suffered tragic loss, Young's novel will bring a fresh perspective on God's sovereignty and purpose through all things. For everyone else it is, at the very least, a vivid reminder of God's amazing love...even in the midst of our darkest pain.

To read more about the book visit The Shack web site.

God, Our Protector

We've had an interesting start to 2009. Today the kiddos and I were involved in a car accident. We are all OK, but our minivan (and main mode of kiddo-transportation) is, for the moment, undrivable.

We are definitely counting our blessings tonight--we are not seriously injured and, by all accounts, our vehicle is fixable. The other vehicle hit the passenger side (the side Little Miss sits on); a few seconds earlier into the intersection would have resulted in a direct hit to her door. I won't allow myself to even think what that would have meant. I am simply so grateful for a God who watches over us.

For (God) will command his angels concerning you to guard you in
all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will
not strike your foot against a stone. -Psalm 91:11,12

I am simply grateful that He charges His angels with the task of protecting my little angels...especially when I cannot.

The Silence Is Finally Broken

Yes, it has been almost 2 weeks since my last post. I am ashamed to admit it. There's not one, but many reasons for my silence:

• Preparing to go out of town
• Going out of town for a quick weekend trip...last weekend
• Recovering from the trip
• Jumping right in to responsibilities and commitments upon our return
• Chasing a 15-month-old who has discovered there are stairs and furniture to climb, buttons to push, and cabinets and drawers to investigate
• Attempting to convince the same 15-month-old that naps are still a good idea!

The list could go on and on, but probably the biggest contributor to my absence is my recent striving to be more disciplined. Several months back I had a spiritual crisis of sort. Let me assure you, before you call the prayer chain, that my eternal soul was not hanging in the balance or anything of the sort. However, the simple challenge of my faith was enough to make me realize that my daily spiritual disciplines--prayer, Bible study, daily connection with God, etc.--had taken a back seat to the "more demanding" tasks of managing my home and nurturing my family. After a couple of spiritually-difficult and emotionally-draining days, I made a renewed commitment to make time for spiritual disciplines.

This return to spiritual discipline began to show me my lack of discipline in other areas. So, my next area of focus was our budget. Since we are hoping to purchase a new house next year, this area of our lives really needs to be scrutinized! So I set out planning meals, shopping for sales and discounts, and keeping closer tabs on our day-to-day spending. While there is still room for improvement, I'm happy to say there's been significant improvement in the last couple of months. (Huh..who would have thought a little disciplined action could make a difference!)

My latest area of focus is health and fitness. I've never been the poster child for athleticism, but now that I've had two children and that great big 4-0 is getting closer by the day (although still a few years away!), I'm beginning to see the need for giving more attention to my health and fitness. It's true I'd like to see those last 15 pounds of "baby weight" finally come off, but my initial goals are to be healthy, to increase my energy and feel good, and to set a positive example for my kids. So, we dusted off the treadmill and I dug my running shoes out of the closet...who knows maybe you'll see me in a marathon one day (although I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you!).

You're probably wondering, So, what does any of this have to do with anything? Why in the world did you feel the need to take up an entire post on this? And why have I read the entire thing?!

I have to idea why you've read this far, but if you have...thank you for sticking with me. I'm sharing this for a couple of reasons. All of these things--as any area of discipline--require two things...time and commitment. Commitment is one thing I've never had trouble giving. Time, on the other hand, is a rare commodity these days...more now than ever. That means in order for me to truly remain disciplined in these areas, something else will have to give. Right now that something else is my computer time....thus the main reason for my recent silence. (I finally pulled it all together...aren't you glad you stuck with me?) I'm not saying I'm retiring my blog, or throwing out my laptop...never! I'm simply saying that, for awhile at least, you may see fewer posts from me. Don't worry...I'm still around, and I'll still be popping on as often as I can.

The other reason I'm posting this, is that I believe discipline is something we all struggle with. It's easy to make the time and spend the energy to do something in the beginning...it's new, it's exciting. But after we've done it for awhile, other things start to look new and interesting. If we're not careful, we can replace the old with the new. We'd rather spend time online than spend time with God. We'd rather sleep in...just this once, than get up to work out. We'd rather just relax and watch a movie than plan meals and make a shopping list. (Or am I the only one who does that?) We...I...need to remember it's when we stick with it that we ultimately see the best results.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a
harvest if we do not give up." --Galatians 6:9

What do you do to "keep going when the going gets tough"?