My Least Favorite Thing to Do: Waiting

I've had to go back and read my last post several times in the last week as we have still not moved into our new house. Isn't it funny how our perspective can change from the mountain top to the valley? The mountain is the same size, whether you're looking up at it from the bottom or at the summit looking back over how far you've come. However, it seems so much more intimidating from the foot of the mountain than it's peak. And once you've made it to the top, that doesn't mean it's smooth sailing from that point...there's another one just around the corner waiting to be climbed.

That's where we are now...after a year and a half of waiting, praying, searching, and hoping, we finally found our house. We were not only on top of the mountain; we were on top of the world. It is a great house and we were getting it for a great price. Suddenly, we turned a corner and there was another mountain to climb. This one doesn't necessarily require much action on our part...it's simply more waiting. Waiting on others to do their part. Waiting on the process to be completed. You may not know this about me...I don't like to wait. I find it more exhausting and taxing than actually doing something.

But alas, we wait. There's not much else to do at this point. So here we sit....waiting and praying. I must continually remind myself what I wrote before about God's timing being perfect. I still believe that...it's just difficult to remember it. It makes it more difficult that our delay appears to be caused by negligence and oversight on the part of others. That makes it even more difficult to wait. But what else can one do.....simply wait. I've always loved this song, but it means more to me now than ever before...

While I'm Waiting
by John Waller

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience

While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

Momentary Troubles

Ever had one of those days? I've had several lately...

A couple of weeks ago my laptop died. Last weekend the coffee maker did the same...just as I was making coffee for some guests. One day last week Little Man threw up all over the van while waiting to pick up Little Miss from preschool. (He was fine right after; his car seat and the interior of the van were another story!) Last month we learned Little Miss has a chronic eye condition that requires a lot of attention (nothing serious, but uncomfortable for her). We are on our third round of medication, none of which are working fast enough for us. Add to that the ongoing house hunt, the increasing levels of stress at Hubby's work, and Daylight Saving Time, and well, you get the idea.

So, imagine my frustration today when I logged onto our desktop (now our sole computer) and found out I had inadvertantly downloaded something that left behind a nice little gift (a.ka. spy ware and a virus). Sorry Hubby! The good news is Hubby is an IT guy and can salvage it. The bad news is...it's one more thing to fix. I'm starting to think I might have the opposite of "the Midas touch" (Shall we call it the "Nancy touch"?)

That's why I was so glad when I read a post last weekend from Frugal Coupon Living. Every Sunday she posts Treasures From Heaven, and last week's post was exactly what I needed. So much so that I read it again today, just for inspiration.

Building on her idea, I've decided to list those things in my life that are going RIGHT these days. Here goes:

• I have a wonderful husband who loves God, adores me and our children, and works hard each day to be sure we are cared for, provided for, and enjoying life.
  
• I have a beautiful, sensitive daughter whose imagination knows no bounds and who recently asked Jesus to come into her heart and be her best friend.
• I have a sweet son who amazes me every day with his intelligence, humor, and nonstop charm.
  
• I have a cozy home, food to eat, a vehicle to drive, clothes to wear, books to read, and toys to enjoy with my kids.
• We are blessed to be a part of a fabulous church where we are challenged and inspired in our faith.
• We have wonderful, caring friends with whom we can share our lives.
• I have extended family who, although I do not get to see them often enough, I know they are simply a phone call away.
• I am healthy, and I'm learning to take even better care of myself through nutrition and exercise (and feeling better because of it).
  
• Today alone I was able to buy groceries for my family, take my daughter to preschool, spend quality, one-on-one time with my son, chat with a good friend on the phone, drive through neighborhoods and "dream" a little, and give and get lots of hugs and kisses. (And the day's not over yet!)

All in all, I am very blessed. Sometimes it's hard to remember that when all I can see is everything going "wrong." Maybe I should take time more often to make lists like the one above and get a little perspective.

How's your perspective? Do you need to refocus? If so, grab a pen and paper and start listing what's going right (or what you've accomplished today). You might be amazed at how long that list is...I know I was. :)

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

--2 Corinthians 4: 16-18

9 Things I Learned in 2009

1. God's timing is always better than mine.
2. 'Tis better to listen than to speak.
3. Attitude is contagious...especially mama's!
4. God will not give me more than I can bear.
5. Contrary to what I usually believe, my way is not always the best way.
6. There may be something to this "organic" thing after all.
7. Life is a continual lesson in finding balance.
8. I cannot (and should not) control everything.
9. Contentment comes in finding joy in the journey.

Happy 2010 to you all!

The Silence Is Finally Broken

Yes, it has been almost 2 weeks since my last post. I am ashamed to admit it. There's not one, but many reasons for my silence:

• Preparing to go out of town
• Going out of town for a quick weekend trip...last weekend
• Recovering from the trip
• Jumping right in to responsibilities and commitments upon our return
• Chasing a 15-month-old who has discovered there are stairs and furniture to climb, buttons to push, and cabinets and drawers to investigate
• Attempting to convince the same 15-month-old that naps are still a good idea!

The list could go on and on, but probably the biggest contributor to my absence is my recent striving to be more disciplined. Several months back I had a spiritual crisis of sort. Let me assure you, before you call the prayer chain, that my eternal soul was not hanging in the balance or anything of the sort. However, the simple challenge of my faith was enough to make me realize that my daily spiritual disciplines--prayer, Bible study, daily connection with God, etc.--had taken a back seat to the "more demanding" tasks of managing my home and nurturing my family. After a couple of spiritually-difficult and emotionally-draining days, I made a renewed commitment to make time for spiritual disciplines.

This return to spiritual discipline began to show me my lack of discipline in other areas. So, my next area of focus was our budget. Since we are hoping to purchase a new house next year, this area of our lives really needs to be scrutinized! So I set out planning meals, shopping for sales and discounts, and keeping closer tabs on our day-to-day spending. While there is still room for improvement, I'm happy to say there's been significant improvement in the last couple of months. (Huh..who would have thought a little disciplined action could make a difference!)

My latest area of focus is health and fitness. I've never been the poster child for athleticism, but now that I've had two children and that great big 4-0 is getting closer by the day (although still a few years away!), I'm beginning to see the need for giving more attention to my health and fitness. It's true I'd like to see those last 15 pounds of "baby weight" finally come off, but my initial goals are to be healthy, to increase my energy and feel good, and to set a positive example for my kids. So, we dusted off the treadmill and I dug my running shoes out of the closet...who knows maybe you'll see me in a marathon one day (although I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you!).

You're probably wondering, So, what does any of this have to do with anything? Why in the world did you feel the need to take up an entire post on this? And why have I read the entire thing?!

I have to idea why you've read this far, but if you have...thank you for sticking with me. I'm sharing this for a couple of reasons. All of these things--as any area of discipline--require two things...time and commitment. Commitment is one thing I've never had trouble giving. Time, on the other hand, is a rare commodity these days...more now than ever. That means in order for me to truly remain disciplined in these areas, something else will have to give. Right now that something else is my computer time....thus the main reason for my recent silence. (I finally pulled it all together...aren't you glad you stuck with me?) I'm not saying I'm retiring my blog, or throwing out my laptop...never! I'm simply saying that, for awhile at least, you may see fewer posts from me. Don't worry...I'm still around, and I'll still be popping on as often as I can.

The other reason I'm posting this, is that I believe discipline is something we all struggle with. It's easy to make the time and spend the energy to do something in the beginning...it's new, it's exciting. But after we've done it for awhile, other things start to look new and interesting. If we're not careful, we can replace the old with the new. We'd rather spend time online than spend time with God. We'd rather sleep in...just this once, than get up to work out. We'd rather just relax and watch a movie than plan meals and make a shopping list. (Or am I the only one who does that?) We...I...need to remember it's when we stick with it that we ultimately see the best results.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a
harvest if we do not give up." --Galatians 6:9

What do you do to "keep going when the going gets tough"?

Hail to the Chief

(Two political posts in one week...don't get used to it!)

Anyone who knows me well--for that matter anyone who read yesterday's post--knows that I hold some fairly conservative and traditional views. While last night's election didn't turn out the way I had initially hoped for, there are so many things I am thankful for:

• I am thankful to live in a nation where we, the people, are allowed to have a voice in choosing our leadership.
• I am thankful that I am allowed to speak my mind to openly, and respectfully, disagree with political leaders and legislation.
• I am thankful that I was able to witness history in the making as the first African-American candidate was elected president.
• I am proud to be part of a country who has survived the Civil War and the Civil Rights Movement, and came through it all stronger....strong enough to elect an African-American president less than 150 years after ending the Civil War.
• I am thankful that I serve One who is in control of history andthe future--who "holds the heart of the [president] in his hand; He directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases" (Proverbs 21:1).

The American people have spoken and elected Barack Obama as the 44th president of the United States of America. He will be the leader of our nation. What does that mean for me as a conservative Christian?

It means that I will respect him. It means that I will show him honor. It means that I will pray for him and support him. Do I agree with everything he stands for? No. Will I like everything he does? Probably not. Will he bring good or harm to our country? Only time will tell. But none of that should be my concern.

My concern should be to live according to God's standard for my life, and according to Romans 13, God commands me to, "submit [myself] to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established."

We may not agree politically, but president-elect Obama has been placed in this position by God Almighty. It is not my job to criticize or malign him (or his followers). It is my responsibility to "give everyone what [I] owe him...if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor."

As president of the United States, I owe him my respect and my honor.

You Won't Hear Much from Me about Politics...

However, since the future of our nation lies in the balance today, I figured it is appropriate to share some thoughts. First, let me say I'm not one to jump in to a political discussion or debate. I typically try to avoid them, and if for some reason I can't, I'm usually the first to grow tired of it and leave the conversation.

It's not that I don't think we should be informed or aware. I absolutely believe that as an American and a Christian, it's one's obligation to be informed of the issues and take action in an appropriate manner. But I also grow weary of all the campaign ads, political debate, and speculation and conjecture from the "talking heads." But in this election, both sides seem to agree on one thing--there is so much at stake.

As a Christian, I am saddened, and often annoyed, by the way some "believers" approach political issues and elections. I believe there is NEVER an excuse for a Christian to be defamatory or malicious toward another person, no matter what their beliefs. That's why I was so proud when two friends each posted thoughtful and well-spoken insights on today's campaign. Each demonstrated intelligent arguments presented in a respectful and, I believe, Christlike attitude. You can read them here and here. Thank you Vince and John Jay!

First let me say that I have great respect and admiration for both candidates. I commend Barack Obama for overcoming great obstacles in his life to make a greater life for himself and his family...to essentially realize the American dream. And no one can dispute John McCain's service to his country, both in the military and as a prisoner of war. If, for no other reason, he deserves our utmost appreciation and respect.

As for the VP candidates, my heart goes out to Joe Biden for the personal tragedy he endured early in his career. I cannot imagine losing a spouse, let alone a child at the same time. As for Sarah Palin, I think her record and her reputation speak for themselves. In my opinion she has been treated unfairly by the mainstream media who seem to have a double standard when it comes to liberal vs. conservative women in politics. But Sarah Palin has risen above it and handled it with grace and dignity.

No one should vote for a candidate because of sympathetic circumstances or a charismatic personality. It is every American's duty--and more so every Christian's duty--to vote on the issues. I believe life begins at conception and we should do everything in our power to protect the unborn. I believe marriage should be between one man and one woman, and I believe in the traditional family unit. I believe the role of a Supreme Court justice is to interpret the law and Constitution, not rewrite it. I believe our country was founded by great men who had great faith in a supreme and all-knowing God, and it would serve our country well to remember that.

Whatever your opinions are on economic, military, or other political issues, if you are a follower of Christ, your sole concern should be the issues of morality. Our pastor said it so eloquently last Sunday, "We should be concerned with economic and political issues, but as Christians, moral issues trump every other political issue" (my paraphrase).

If you remain undecided, I urge you to seriously consider the issues--particularly moral ones--and pray fervently for direction. Ask yourself, what's really at stake in this election? It's more than just economics and health care...it's the moral fiber of our nation. Then, go vote! It's Election Day...get out there and vote your conscience!

Hurtful Words

Words are a powerful thing. Whether spoken or written, they communicate a message. They have the power to hurt or heal, to encourage or discourage, to build up or tear down. You've heard it said, "The pen is mightier than the sword." We sometimes forget that spoken words carry the same weight. And hurtful words are the worst kind. They always result in one thing...pain.

As the receiver of hurtful words, the result of pain is obvious. You are wounded and cut deep by the words (either spoken or implied) of another. As the user of hurtful words, one may feel a moment of relief, even vindication. But once that moment is gone, the result is the same...pain. The words unleashed on another can do nothing to heal the pain that originally caused the outburst. Even if the words were justified, the potential hurt to another person (or relationship) is pain enough.

Maybe that's why the authors (and ultimately The Author) throughout the Bible spent so much time and effort reminding us to bridle our tongues, think before we speak, and consider how our words will be received by the intended hearer.

"The tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark." James 3:5

"Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." Proverbs 12:18

"Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." Colossians 4:6

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:14

"Me" Time Makes for a Happier Mommy

When I was single, I had a lot of time to myself. While I managed to stay busy between my full-time job, freelance writing, volunteer work, and social events there was still plenty of time for me and my thoughts...driving alone in my car, lying in bed at night, sitting alone in my office, etc.
Now that my second child is almost a year old, I'm realizing it's been a long time since I've managed to have a complete, uninterrupted thought to myself. I usually wake up to the sound of a child's chatter (which continues non-stop throughout my day). Nap times and evenings are filled with endless "to do" lists and much-needed conversations with Hubby. Then I fall into bed drift off to sleep before any coherent thought has time to develop. My girlfriends and I try to get together regularly for a fun and refreshing night out. But it doesn't exactly qualify as "me" time as it's also filled with endless chatter.

When I became a mother, I felt guilty taking any time for myself. After all, there were children to be tended to, a house to be kept, and a husband to be nurtured. But recently, I've noticed that my lack of time to myself is taking it's toll. I feel more irritable and less focused on what's important. I begin to snap at others over the littlest things. Not long ago, I read that every mother should take 15 minutes for herself every day, 1-2 hours every week, and an overnight getaway every six months. That sounded great to me!

So, I've taken some steps to make sure I get some "quality" time alone, realizing that it helps me be a better wife and mother. I've also tried to recognize those times that I'm running on empty and need to take an evening to refuel. Some of these things have required some sacrifices in other areas, but they are all well worth it. Here are some things I've tried to do recently to get some "me" time:

• Walk the dog. Although I have to sacrifice sleep by getting up 30 minutes earlier, it's proven to help start me day right. Besides great "me" time, it's great exercise, and very energizing to get outside as the world is waking up.
  
• Take a nap. When my children were newborns, it was easy to forgo the laundry and dirty dishes to catch some zzzz's. But now that everyone sleeps through the night I feel guilty taking a nap, no matter how needed it is. However, I'm learning that a quick 15-20 minute nap can get me through the remainder of my day.
  
• Soak in a bubble bath. Again, this usually means sacrificing something on my evening "to do" list, but it makes me so much more relaxed for the evening (and the following day!).
  
• Be still and know God. I'm ashamed to admit that when my children came along, but prayer and Scripture-reading routine took a major blow. But I'm discovering that I don't have to mark out an hour of time for personal devotion. Ten to fifteen minutes in God's presence and a few verses from His Word helps me keep my perspective and gives me strength to carry on.
  
• Go to bed when the kids do. I'm a night-owl by nature, so turning in at 8:30 or 9:00 goes against everything in me. But on those nights when my body is screaming for rest and I don't know how I'll go on, I've learned it's better to just go to sleep than try to "push through the pain." (That benefits no one in the end...it only delays the inevitable, sleep-deprived meltdown!)
  
• Hide. If all else fails, and I can't seem to even catch 10 minutes alone, I've been known to locking myself in the bathroom for 5 minutes of peace and (somewhat) quiet. My house is childproofed, so leaving them to play in their rooms for 5 minutes while Mommy regains her sanity (still within earshot in case of an emergency) is sometimes the best thing I can do for my children.

I was very blessed this last weekend to have the entire weekend to myself. Hubby took the kids to Grandma and Grandpa's while I stayed behind to work our annual Yard Sale. It was an exhausting weekend of wheeling and dealing on the hottest two days on record this year. But it was nice to have the evenings (and nights) to myself and reclaim "my" time. I missed them all terribly, but I know it was good for us all as they came home to a more rested and happy Mommy.

How do you make time for yourself to "recharge"?

Deep Thought Monday

I'm taking a hiatus from Menu Plan Monday this week to share something I came across. It's not really all that revolutionary, but it was a good reminder to me of a truth I sometimes forget. (If you had your heart set on a menu plan, head on over to Org Junkie...there are plenty to choose from!)

From time to time I've been known to react from emotion rather than logic, rationale, or even what I know to be true. You could say I've let my emotions get the best of me on occasion. (You can stop laughing and nodding your head now, Hubby.) That's something I've been working on lately...Choosing to be the best person I can be, no matter how tired I am, how discouraged I feel, or how much I just want to crawl in a hole and cry (or sleep!). I've discovered (yet again) that the strength I need to handle (i.e., control) my emotions doesn't come from within me...that was the mistake I had been making for so long. The strength to handle my emotions, my choices, my circumstances, my life comes from the One who created me, designed my emotions, gave me the freedom to make my own choices, controls my circumstances, and orders the steps of my life. That's why these passages I came across this week meant so much to me:

"'As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.' (Proverbs 23:7).
This meant that circumstances did not cause my emotions,

but my thoughts about my circumstances did."

--Erik Johnson in an article "Driving Yourself Crazy,"

from Focus On the Family (April 2008)

“We become what we think about all day long.”

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

"I have learned the secret of being content in any and
every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in
plenty or in want. I can do everything through
him who gives me strength."

--The Apostle Paul in Philippians 4:12,13

Do you have a favorite passage, verse, motto, or exercise you use to manage your emotions?

Quote of the Week

"Be faithful in the small things, because it is in them that your strength lies."

--Mother Teresa

Taking Joy in the Little Things

A few weeks ago, I posted a review of Sally Clarkson's book, The Mission of Motherhood: Touching Your Child's Heart for Eternity. As I was reading Sally's blog (I Take Joy), I came across Ms. Clarkson's e-mail address. On a whim, sent her an e-mail explaining how much her book meant to me, the impact it had on me and my parenting, and thanking her for her ministry. I know someone of her position (author, speaker, blogger, mother of 4, etc.) has at least a million pressing things to do at any given moment. I hoped that my e-mail might actually get read, but I definitely didn't expect a reply. Imagine my surprise when I opened my inbox the other day to find an e-mail from Sally Clarkson herself!


The fact that Ms. Clarkson took the time to e-mail me was a huge encouragement in herself, but what she said to me was even more encouraging. Her words of affirmation and support for my decision to stay home with my children, and her recognition of the fact that that isn't always an easy role were so soothing to my soul. I'd like to share just one line from her e-mail that I found so encouraging:

"I have not always found my choices easy, but I see the results in the great souls of my children."


As a mother on "this side" of parenting (just starting out), it was so encouraging to me to hear that from a mother on the "other side" (whose children are all grown). To know that it was also difficult for her, but that the tough choices paid off is in itself a huge encouragement to me. I'm sure I will revisit those words in the days and months to come. Thank you again, Sally.


On another note, we took advantage of the beautiful weather today to go on a little scavenger hunt. It was so much fun to watch my Little Miss diligently searching for a rock or flower to put in her makeshift "bag." It was such a simple outing, but it meant so much to her. It was the first thing she told Daddy about when he got home, and continued reliving it through dinner.


While on our hunt, Little Miss was taken with this tiny angel statue on our route. She stopped abruptly, stroked it's little head, and said, "Aww...look Mommy!" I was so taken with her sweetness, I could hardly notice the statue. Fortunately, I had my camera on hand to capture the moment of my angel with her angel.


It was a good day.

Grandma's Wisdom

While visiting my grandmother last week, I saw the following quotes on her fridge. I've seen, and read, these quotes many times throughout the years, but now that I am a Mom, they have a whole new meaning. I have no idea who to credit for them (other than my grandma), but I hope you enjoy them:

Our children may do wrong, but they must not do wrong with our
permission.

Children need love the most when they deserve it the least.

Crisis of Self

I started this post earlier today about how I sometimes don't know who I am anymore...how motherhood has changed me, and I sometimes wonder what my identity is, blah, blah, blah...
But the kids woke up and I never got it finished.

Then I had an interesting encounter tonight at the grocery store. One of the cashiers was giving another cashier a hard time because she said she'd never had a drink of alcohol. He, on the other hand, was going on and on about how he was going home to drink because it was his birthday. So, he looked at me and said, "Boy, she doesn't know what she's missing, does she?" And I just shrugged and said, "I wouldn't know. I've never had a drink either." That pretty much floored him. I guess he never thought he'd encounter anyone who didn't share his enthusiasm for alcohol...let alone two people!

As I came home to finish my "woe-is-me" post, God reminded me of that guy. I realized that I'm still the same person I've always been. I have roughly the same story I've always had...good girl raised in church, loved God her whole life, very few tales of rebellion, etc. etc. It's just that now I have a few more chapters to include...met a wonderful boy, got married, had two beautiful children, and so on. I was the "girl who didn't party" in high school, and I guess I'm still that girl...all grown up (and hopefully a little wiser about some things).

It may not sound all that profound to you, but it was a great comfort to me--that for as much as motherhood, and life in general, has changed me I'm still the girl who dreamed of doing great things for God one day. I guess when you change enough diapers and make enough bottles, you begin to wonder if all those dreams of "great things" were just that...dreams. But my encounter tonight with the "raging alcoholic" (as he jokingly referred to himself after our conversation) made me realize that those "great things" can still be accomplished. It just might not happen in a stadium packed with teenagers or a conference of church leaders. It might simply happen in the checkout lane at the grocery store when a casual conversation makes a person realize that there's something more out there. Please don't misunderstand...I'm in no way campaigning for the next Prohibition movement. I'm just saying that hopefully now this cashier realizes that there are people who live differently than he does. And maybe someday, if he's searching for something more in his life, he'll remember that. And maybe God will use it to reach him. And if not, maybe there will be someone else...

So I guess in the meantime I continue to change diapers, and make bottles, and go grocery shopping...and pray that God will use me to impact others...one conversation at a time.