40: My Blessed Life

(Photo source)

Well, this is it, my last 40-B4-40 post. Thank you for sharing the journey with me.

I made it to my fourth decade, and looking back, I have realized how incredibly blessed I am. I would love to share with you just a few (40, to be exact) of the many blessings in my life:

1. The Creator of the universe loves me and has a great plan for me.
2. I get to do life with my best friend.
3. We will celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary next month.
4. I have an amazing daughter who is kind, thoughtful, and so very creative!
5. I have a wonderful son who is sweet and energetic and keeps me laughing!
6. My parents are now 40+ years in love and a great example of a godly marriage.
7. I have my dad's love for books and knowledge.
8. I have my mom's love for people and chocolate.
9. My sisters are two of my dearest friends (and are the only ones who truly understand how "unique" our family is!)
10. My two brothers-in-law (on my side) cherish my sisters and respect our parents.
11. My father- and mother-in-law are are also 40+ years in love.
12. I have been "thoroughly adopted" into my husband's family...parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins...etc. It's like I have an entire "second" family!
13. I have a very close (somewhat crazy) extended family whom I am blessed to see regularly.
14. I have three adorable nieces and three amazing nephews.
15. I was able to witness my nephew's miraculous journey of healing.
16. I still keep in touch with a lifelong family friend who consistently encourages me across the miles (and whose blog name I "borrowed" for this post...thanks, Lora! :))
17. I have an incredibly supportive group of friends.
18. We are blessed to go to a church where we are fed truth, challenged to grow, and enjoy community like nowhere else!
19. We have the best small group in the northern hemisphere (I really don't know much about the southern hemisphere...they might be the best there, too).
20. The same loyal, somewhat-spoiled dog has slept next to my bed every night for the last 11 years.
21. We live in a fantastic, family-centered community!
22. Our kids go to good schools where its evident the staff and administration care deeply about the students.
23. I am privileged to do what I love: 1) stay home to raise my kids and 2) write.
24. God has been faithful in the good times and the difficult times.
25. I have survived cancer.
26. God has given us our dream home.
27. At age 40, I weigh 30 lbs less than I did at age 20 (yes, it's true!)
28. At age 20, I could barely run .5 mile; two weeks ago I completed my third 5K!
29. I have two strong legs on which to run.
30. I have been privileged to meet, serve under, and be influenced by some amazing people.
31. I have had the privilege of serving and leading some pretty incredible kids who have grown into such impressive adults. (You know who you are, Reality Drama!)
32. I have co-authored a book.
33. I have had the opportunity to travel to 35 states and 4 other countries.
34. I have been to the top of the Eiffel Tower.
35. I have hiked a mountain in Alaska.
36. I have a college degree.
37. It's almost my absolute favorite time of year...FALL!
38. I can read...and read...and read...and read...
39. I am living exactly where I want to be, doing exactly what I want to do at this season in my life.
40. The next 10 years are looking pretty exciting!

40-B4-40: Dead End or New Beginning?

 

**40-B4-40 is my 8-month journey in bidding adieu to my youth and embracing

the next chapter (a.k.a. decade). Thanks for joining me!**

 

 

photo credit

 

You know that scene in the movie When Harry Met Sally (don't judge me, it was the 80s, alright?) when Sally has just broken up with her long term boyfriend and Harry comes to console her? The one where she lists all the things that are wrong in her life through sobs and sniffles then ends with, "And I'm going to be 40!"

 

And Harry says, "When?"

 

And Sally says, "Someday! But it's just hanging out there like a big dead end!"

 

That scene was hilarious when I was 17...and 25...and even funnier when I was 35. But now that I'm 2 days from the big event, it's not so funny.

 

Yes, I know it's just a number.

 

Yes, I know you're only as old as you feel.

 

Yes, I know "40 is the new 30" (whatever that really means)

 

Yes, I know "40 is fabulous" (it is...on everyone else, but that doesn't mean it will be on me, does it?)

 

And yes, I've had several friends who have already "crossed over" and have done so with grace, dignity, and even enthusiasm. They've not only lived to tell about it, they've embraced it beautifully and have thrived in doing so.

 

I really didn't expect to feel this way about turning 40. I had no problem with 30 or 35, and I truly thought 40 would be the same. I started this year ready to meet 40 with my head held high. Alas, it isn't really working out that way.

 

Oh, it's not terrible. I'm not in depression or anything. I won't wear all black on Sunday in protest. I'm just having a difficult time because things aren't quite working out as I had planned (remember my perfectionism?): I had wanted to be a certain weight. I had wanted to have my career at a certain point. I had wanted to my health to be at a certain place...all by the time I was 40.

 

Yes, I can still do all of those things when I'm 40, or 41, or 45, or 50...you get the idea.

 

No, 40 is not a dead end.

 

In many ways, I see it as a new beginning: a new chapter of my life, a fresh, new decade to achieve new goals and try new things.

 

That's why on Sunday, I will post a retrospective of my many blessings at 40.

 

But today is not Sunday; today is Friday, and right now, I need to find some chocolate.

40-B4-40: So, I Run

**40-B4-40 is my 8-month journey in bidding adieu to my youth and embracing

the next chapter (a.k.a. decade). Thanks for joining me!**

 

 

 

I did it again...another 5K!

 

Last year I shared with you my story of cancer and the journey to my 5K celebration. Knowing I had completed not one, but two, 5Ks in the last year I was anxious to run the Cherish Kids race again. This year we made it a family affair; Hubby ran the 5K with me, and the kids did the Kids K (about 1/2 mile). I was so proud of them! Training for a year sure paid off (as opposed to the 2-month training I did last year). I felt much better this time around, and I came in almost 2 minutes under my time from last year!

 

Little Miss and Little Man with their medals from the Kids K!

 

Before you get too impressed with me...let me explain something: I run, yes, but I am not a runner. I've completed three 5Ks, and I run 4-6 miles a week on my treadmill, but I would not say I'm a runner. I know people who are runners. They love it, and they live for it. My sister is a runner; after a few days without running she literally gets "the shakes."

 

That is not me. I do not run because I love it...a lot of times I don't even particularly like it. As a matter of fact, I have to sort of "psyche" myself into it before I do it. So then, why do I run? 

 

The Top 10 Reasons I Run 

 10.  I like how I feel after I run.

9. It keeps my "bad" leg loose and flexible.

8. I know it's good for me.

7. I can eat more chocolate.

6. I have more energy when I run consistently.

5. I am setting a good example for my children.

4. I tend to eat healthier when I run routinely (with the exception of #7).

3. I can burn the most calories/get the best cardio for the least amount of time invested.

2. My clothes fit better (probably something to do with #4 and #3 together!)

 

And the #1 reason I run is...

As I come upon my 4th decade of life (next month...YIKES!), I WILL NOT GO DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT!!!

 

And so....I RUN. :)

 

What good-for-you habit are you working to cultivate? Leave me a comment and let me know. I'd love to cheer you on!

 

 

 

40-B4-40: The Haircut

Well summer is quickly slipping by, and I have not kept up my end of the deal on the 40-B4-40 posts. And yes, I realized that in one short month, I will cross that line into the next decade, so in honor of such a moment (and to take my mind off that fact), here is another installment of 40-B4-40:
At the beginning of the summer, I got my hair cut. Not just a trim, but a hair cut…like 3-4 inches cut off! What started out as “let’s take it to the top of my shoulders,” ended with me leaving the salon in a slight state of panic.

I have very thick, curly hair, so I did plan to cut it shorter for the summer, just not quite as short as it ended up. It didn’t look bad; however, the shock of it all took me back several years to the last schockingly-short haircut experience I had. If you’ve had one, you know that dreadful feeling that sticks with you for life.

In my first experience (in my late 20s), I was standing in front of the mirror simply staring at the horror that used to be my hair when my roommate walked in, immediately donned a horrified look, and sincerely asked, “What happened?!” (Not a comforting thing to hear when you’re already in a fragile state of mind.) I knew it was “just hair” and yes, it did grow back. But if you’ve ever had a “sketchy” hair cut, you know the panic…the overwhelming, dreadful feeling of I’m going to look like this until it does grow back, and there’s nothing I can do about it!

I felt that same feeling of dread overtake me as I smiled weakly at the stylist, gathered my children and headed out the door. Like I said, it didn’t look bad, but I was swimming in my own thoughts, unable to see myself (or my hair) objectively. Do I like it this short? Is it really cute? Or just weird? Can I pull off hair this short? Or do I just look like a giant Q-Tip (remember…thick, curly hair!)
I decided to consult a trust friend (who had been the roommate in the previous scenario, so I knew she would be brutally honest!) She assured me it was, indeed, ”a cute and fun summer cut” and that it was just the shock that I needed to get over. By that evening, I was excited about it and looking forward to showing off my new summer ’do.

(The picture I texted my friend...can you tell from my
worried smile I was trying to be OK with it? )

While we were out that evening we saw some friends, and would you believe…NO ONE SAID ANYTHING ABOUT MY HAIR?!?!? I mean, honestly, how could they not have noticed?! It was soooo short!!

I started thinking…what if it’s so bad they don’t know what to say?! (I now realize how ridiculous that thought is, but when you’re in the middle of a style panic, you have these irrational thoughts.)

Later, I ran into a good friend who I realized had been crying. She smiled at me weakly and said, "I like your hair." Well, score one for my hair cut, I guess. But I couldn't fully enjoy the victory of my style makeover, because I knew why my friend had been crying, and it had nothing to do with haircuts or style.

I knew she and her family were in the midst of a terrible trial...one I wouldn't wish on anyone. I didn't know the details of her tears that evening, but I knew they were related to what she was going through. Only then, did I stop to consider other friends I had seen or spoken to recently: one was still looking for a job, one had lost a 9-month-old to a rare illness, one had been trying to sell a home for almost a year, one was facing surgery in just a few weeks, one whose sister is battling brain cancer, one was in the middle of an unthinkable legal battle with family members, and the list went on.

I had been so consumed with my silly little hair-do, that I hadn’t truly stopped to think about the needs of those around me. Before you think me completely heartless, I have spent many hours talking with, listening to, and praying for these same friends and their situations. But today it had been all about me. My hair and my situation had literally consumed my thoughts and energy.

It reminded me of how my children can sometimes be so completely consumed with their own problems they become oblivious to anything going on around them. How many times have I been doing something (making dinner, doing laundry, etc.) only to have them come to me with a fresh list of demands, “Mom, I need you to…” “Where is my…” “Can you…” “He won’t let me…”

We tolerate, even expect, such selfishness from children, because self-absorption is a sign of immaturity. Children have to be taught to become aware of and compassionate toward those around them. It’s not often a trait they find on their own (although we’re so thankful when they do!).

I’m sorry to say it’s a sign of immaturity in myself as well. When will I learn it’s not really about me anyway? God is teaching me (through His Word and through others) to look beyond myself, my needs, my daily “emergencies,” and focus on the needs of others. When I can do that, He can use me to demonstrate His love to those who are hurting.

This thing called life is about more than my wants, my insecurities, and my to-do list. I won’t truly realize the joy in finding His grace until I learn to look outside myself and truly see those around me. What are their needs? What can I do for them?

That’s what makes this thing called life worth it. That’s what His grace in action looks like.
Maybe one of these days I’ll finally get over myself (and my hair) and remember that!

40-B4-40: Fun Mommy

**40-B4-40 is my 8-month journey in bidding adieu to my youth and embracing

the next chapter (a.k.a. decade). Thanks for joining me!**

A couple of weeks ago, the ladies in our small group were sitting around discussing "mommyhood," as moms usually do. One commented that it's her husband who is typically the "fun" one.
As she put is, "When Daddy comes home, the circus has arrived." We could all relate. It seems that, in our homes anyway, Daddy provides the fun and laughter and Mommy provides the structure and organization.

Our so-thoughtful hubbies even try to help us out occasionally by leading with something like, "Look what Mommy thought of, isn't she so fun?!" Still, our children glance our way with knowing eyes as if to say, "I'm not buying it, Dad. We all know you're the fun one!"

So, we came up with a challenge for ourselves: Create one "Fun Mommy" moment each week. It could be as simple as eating dessert first before dinner or 30 minutes of playing "Tickle Monster" on the bed. (The last one probably works better with toddlers and preschoolers than teens...just sayin'.) It simply has to be fun.

Imagine my delight, then, when I was awakened this morning by a call from Little Miss's school saying school was cancelled due to inclement weather. I had my Fun Mommy moment handed to me in our first snow day this year. Here's just a glimpse...

There was sledding

And snow angels

Then of course hot cocoa when we came in

The best part? I let go of my to-do list, embraced my aging "Fun Mommy" side, and joined in with them. I'm pretty sure my almost-"ahem"-year-old body will feel it tomorrow, but I'm also sure my kids (and I) will remember it for much longer.

What Fun Mommy moment have you created lately?

40-B4-40: Letting Go

Dedicated to my fellow first-born, over-achieving, Type-A peeps.

Bing Images

Ten years ago I would have been hesitant to admit I'm a Type-A person. (We're always the last to find out, right?) In most of my adult life (and childhood for that matter), I was fairly easy-going. I was often happy to go along with whatever restaurant or activity my friends chose, content to just hang out with them. I really had little need to "be in charge."

So it was with great disappointment that I finally admitted to my husband and friends (who already knew) that yes, I am a control freak. You see, it's not really that I have to control everything. If I'm participating in or helping with someone else's "thing," I have no problem going along with it. If you're in charge, we can do it your way.

However, it was in the things that I did have control over that my inner control freak began to rear her ugly head. My house--since I'm here most of the time, it shouldn't be too difficult to keep it relatively spotless at all times. And meals...how hard is it to have tasty, nutritious meals on the table for my family every evening. Children...it's not too much to ask that they be well-dressed, well-fed, well-behaved, and content most of the time. I'm not unreasonable. I realize they are children and will have their moments, but I'd say hitting the mark 90% of the time isn't too much to ask (for my children anyway.) Yeah, right!

As for my personal life....well, there's no reason I shouldn't be able to workout daily, have a quality devotional time, and find time to write on a regular basis, right? I mean, it's really just a matter of scheduling and prioritizing. I just need to make the right lists (I do love my lists!) and find the most efficient way of doing them. It's totally doable. And since it's doable, I should be able to do it. Sound about right?

Fortunately, God has a sense of humor and paired me up with someone who could make me step back, take a breath, and realize that if we have cereal for dinner and the kids are running around like monkeys, it's OK. That's just where our lives are right now. Sure it would be nice to have a quiet, peaceful, spotless home in which to unwind each evening. But the sight of toys strewn across the floor and the sound of giggles and pounding feet as our children chase one another through the obstacle course that is our home remind me that my to-do list isn't the most demanding issue right now. So my first step on my journey to mature, well-adjusted, middle-agehood is to LET IT GO. (Aren't you proud of me for not making a list of things to let go of? :))

Over the holidays, I hosted family gatherings while my kitchen floor remained un-mopped (horror of all horrors!) We ate some late dinners (and consequently had late bedtimes) so that I could spend time enjoying my family instead of rushing through our evening. The kids' teachers received cookies "creatively" decorated with love instead of magazine-photo-perfect gingerbread men. This week, I sat and drank coffee with a friend while our boys played in our basement which looked like an episode of Toys R Us Gone Wild. (It's a wonder we didn't lose of them down there.)

But guess what? No one mocked my sticky kitchen floor, the teachers loved their cookies, and my friend and I had a wonderful chat while the boys relished in the toy rubble. Maybe, just maybe, if I can push past my initial, hand-wringing moment of worry when the door opens to my less-than-immaculate home and can focus on the person and the moment at hand, everyone will have a better time...mostly me.

Now, if you'll excuse me we are having guests this weekend and I need to go scrub my bathrooms. (Baby steps, right?)

40 B4 40

Happy 2012, everyone!

As you may have noticed, I took a small break through the New Year. I intentionally spent time enjoying family, having fun, and relishing every moment with my kids while they were out of school.

I also spent some time planning, dreaming, thinking, and praying about 2012...including my blog. More on that later. Let me just say you may see a few changes around here as I begin to experiment with some things (for example, the new look...what do you think?) It's not exactly there yet, but it's a step in the right direction.

As I gazed into 2012, I came to a stark realization: It is approximately 40 weeks until I reach a milestone birthday. (I will leave it to your keen deductive skills to infer what birthday that might be. Hint: read the title of this post carefully.) So, I've decided for the next 40 (or so) weeks, I will take a moment to share a specific lesson learned, challenge conquered, adventure taken, or anything else that might help me say, "Take that [insert next decade here]! I'm not going down without a fight!"

So stay tuned, dear friends. It's going to be a great year!

Do you have any big plans for 2012?