Happy Birthday Not-So-Little-Miss!

Yesterday a rare thing occurred: my Little Miss fell asleep for a quick afternoon nap. We were stretched out on my bed, and she snuggled right up against my chest. As I watched her eyes flutter and she drifted off to dreamland, I couldn't help but think how regularly that very thing had happened so many years ago and how infrequently it had happened lately.

At that time, so long ago, she fit easily on my chest, stretched out from my shoulders to my waist. Now she stretches from the floor almost to my shoulders. So much has changed in the last seven years. We've gone from diapers, bottles, and lacy-bottomed PJs to pigtails, nail polish, and leggings. Her tiny coos and whimpers have given way to girlish squeals and giggles.

Yet some things remain the same--those deep, soft, almost-black eyes, the long, dark eyelashes, that adorable-but-a-little-mischievous grin, and her love for music, books, and her Daddy. :)

Today my first-born turns seven. SEVEN. That seems so old. Not in an I've-been-alive-forever sort of way, but in a she's-not-a-baby-anymore way. She's not even a toddler or a preschooler. She's a full-blown schoolgirl with the scrapes and bruises to prove it (notice her location in the picture above!).

She's developing quite the creative side, too, pouring over stories she's written, pictures she's drawn, and songs she's composing. She's still a little shy; not what you'd call a risk-taker. But if there's a stage nearby, look out...she's ready to perform!

My family likes to call her Little Nancy, and I can definitely see it...sometimes a little too much, which worries me just a little (I'm quite certain the world does not need another me!). As much as she may resemble (and bear some of my crazy quirks), she is her very own, unique person for whom I so grateful.

Happy Birthday, my Not-So-Little-Miss,

I'm so blessed and proud to be your mom. I love you!

Off to First Grade!

It's that time of year again: This morning I handed over my first-born to a woman I've only met once, trusting her to impart knowledge, wisdom, and character into my child for seven hours every day. While this year was not nearly as emotional as last year's drop-off, I was surprised by the sadness I felt again when I walked out of the school.

We did a great job of soaking up every moment of the summer. We went swimming, visited family, had numerous outings, worked on craft projects, and spent plenty of time just playing and being lazy. But I still felt a twinge of regret when I walked her to her class this morning. I couldn't help but think, Did I do enough? Could I have done more? For the next 9 months, she'll spend more time with teachers and friends, and therefore be more open to their influence. Have I done enough to prepare her?

I realize this may make me sound a little paranoid. Trust me, I am not wanting to wrap my child in bubble wrap or lock her away in a tower somewhere. We love our community and our school. Her teacher last year was a God-send, and the Principal is amazing. I've heard great things about her teacher this year, and I'm sure she'll have a fantastic year.

Part of it is simply my personality; I tend to get a little sentimental and misty-eyed over any change in our lives. But aside from that, it's also the fact that we take this parenting thing pretty seriously. Yes, we have other interests and responsibilities (work, church, friendships, etc.), but they all take a backseat to investing in our family and raising our children. We made a conscious decision six years ago for me to stay home to raise our children, because we feel it is our primary responsibility to train them and teach them. While we are thankful for a church, a community, and a school that support our goals in educating and training our children, the primary responsibility falls to Hubby and myself.

So that's why it's hard for me to walk away and leave my Little Miss in the more-than-capable hands of her first-grade teacher. I'm sure in a few days the emotion of it all will fade and the stress of the morning rush take over. But for now, thank you for letting me bask in the emotion of it all again.

[Parents] do not provoke your children to anger,(C) but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4, ESV)

First Day of Kindergarten

This is it. The day I've waited for since we came home from the hospital with a tiny, pink bundle more than 5 years ago. I remember in those first few extremely-difficult days of parenthood holding my tiny pink bundle (who never seemed to stop screaming) and thinking, "I'm not sure I can do this all day every day for the next 5 years!"

I was very excited to be a mom and so blessed to have a beautiful daughter. But I had been in the workforce for ten years. I had grown accustomed to accomplishing things each day. I had come to enjoy my independence and relished having time to do things for myself...like take shower and brush my teeth. In those early days my bleary, sleep-deprived eyes couldn't see past the endless diapers, feedings, and laundry. I felt helpless, overwhelmed, and wondered if I'd make it until Hubby came home from work that day...let alone to the day she goes to school. That day seemed forever away.

The years sped by, and "that day" arrived all too quickly...today. I woke my pink-bundle-turned-princess up early, put pig-tails in her hair, made her favorite breakfast (pancakes), loaded her up with backpack and lunch box, drove her a few blocks away, and left her in the care of a complete stranger for the next seven hours. As I walked away from her classroom this morning I didn't feel relieved. I felt sad.

I have no regrets. I obviously wouldn't trade the time at home with her for anything in the world. Looking back I feel that I made the most of every moment...play dates, trips to the park, the zoo, and other fun places, cooking lessons, tea parties playing dress-up...I did it all. There were times when I probably could have left the laundry unfolded for another game of Chutes 'n' Ladders. But for the most part, I gave it my all.

I know my job as a parent is nowhere near an end. I have many more years of fun and influence to enjoy. And I still have another one at home with whom to enjoy every moment. But I will no longer have my baby to myself all day every day. She'll be under the influence of another person for the majority of her day. We will have our summers...but even then my time with her will become more and more secondary to time with friends.

I'm a little sad today. But I'm also very proud ...proud of my Little Miss who walked right into her class, hung up her backpack, found her seat, and gave me an "I'm OK, Mom, you can go now" look. I'm also thankful...thankful for a great school with faculty and staff who truly care about children, thankful for a teacher who is kind and comforting, and thankful for faith in a God who I know is with my daughter even when I am not.

Now, if you'll excuse me I have to grab some Kleenex, fix my makeup, and go pick up my baby from school.

Creative or Disturbing?

So this morning Little Miss and Little Man were playing--the creative juices were flowing--when she suddenly ran in our room in a make-believe panic:

Little Miss: We're going to Subway, but we have to go through Scaryfield to get there!
Little Man: (following closely behind, also in pretend panic): Carey-feeewd
Hubby: (confused) Scaryfield?
Little Miss: (matter-of-fact) Yes, it's place where there are scary, talking trees and they throw pieces of people at you. (pausing for a moment, then continuing as matter-of-factly as before) And it splashes blood all over your face.

Then she ran off, Little Man following behind, to resume their make-believe trip to Subway (yes, the restaurant). Hubby and I are not sure whether to be impressed by her creativity or disturbed by its content.

P.S. Since we don't own a gaming console, and she only watches PBS, I blame it on those boys at preschool! :)

The Potty Train (a book review)

While we're on the subject of books (see my last post)...I wanted to mention a GREAT kid's book. We are currently potty training the Little Man, so when I stumbled upon The Potty Train by David Hochman and Ruth Kennison at the library, I knew we had to get it.Little Man is an avid train aficionado, and I thought this might be a helpful resource. Boy, was I right! We read it every day and every night for the three weeks we had it. When we weren't reading it, you could find him sitting in his room, flipping through the pages, chanting, "chugga chugga poo poo!"

If you know of a little boy who is potty training, this is the book for him! Hochman and Kennison do a fabulous job of relating the whole potty "training" event to an actual train adventure...every boy's dream come true! Couple that with gorgeous illustrations by Dereck Anderson, and it's a definite hit for any pottier-in-training. It was such a hit at our house Little Man kept wanting to go outside and ride an actual potty train. (Maybe not such a big deal except we had 8 inches of snow on the ground!) It took some real convincing, but I think he's finally understanding that there is no REAL potty train. But if there were....we'd be first in line!

From the Mouths of Babes

Some recent gems from the mouths of my sweet kiddos...

The other night Hubby and Little Miss were coming home from a quick run to the store. Little Miss was entertaining herself in the backseat, sweetly singing, "God, we worship you...You are the one who loves me...You are the one who shows me how to love me..." She suddenly stopped and said to Hubby matter-of-factly, "I think that's from Barbie."

*************************

I had Christmas music playing one night this week as I was making dinner. Little Man was dancing vigorously in the living room, then suddenly appeared in the door of the kitchen, out of breath, and reported, "Mine yike dat song."

"You like that song?" I asked, making sure I understood his toddlerese.

"Yup" he stated, then abruptly turned and ran back to the living room to continue dancing.

********************

This morning Little Miss and Little Man were finishing up lunch when I overheard the following, which was obviously the end of a very deep discussion:

Little Miss: "...that's when I was 2 and you weren't born yet. You were still in heaven and God was making you. Do you remember that?"

Little Man: "Yup"

Little Miss: "And then I came and got you and God sent you to Mommy and Daddy and me. And you brought me my Elmo backpack*. Do you remember that?"

Little Man: "Yup"

Little Miss: "That was fun."

Little Man: "Yup"

*(The Elmo backpack was a gift we gave Little Miss when Little Man was born...we told her it was from her new baby brother.)

The Ministry of Motherhood: A Book Review

I recently finished the first book on my Fall Into Reading 2008 list. I had read The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson and was anxious to read this "follow-up" book of hers as well. As always, Sally's message both encouraged and challenged me in my role as "mom." I knew I would like this book as I always love reading her blog, I Take Joy.

This particular book, however, seemed to really "hit me where I am." I could especially relate to one paragraph in the introduction:

"I realized with the passing of each day that spiritual and emotional
maturity in the lives of my children would not just happen because I wished it
so. It would not just happen as a result of the passive example of my being
good. Effective emotional, spiritual, and social training in the lives of my
children would have to be both intentional and planned."

With a preschooler and now a toddler, my days are increasingly busy. Most of the time I feel as if I'm barely keeping up, and often I'm just falling behind. At the same time, I realize how fleeting the time with my children is and I want to do all I can to pour into them. I want to give them so much more than just knowledge. I want to give them the foundation they need to realize and experience their own faith in Christ, to meet the world with the truths of God's Word, and to develop social skills to help them feel comfortable with themselves and confident with others.

Sally does an amazing job of outlining the truths that she and her husband strove to impart to their children. She doesn't do it with a "you-have-to-do-it-this-way" attitude. But she does give you the tools to recognize what values are truly important and how to effectively communicate them in your family. Even if your children are older, Sally's book is a treasure of information. Many of the ideas and suggested activities that she lists are for older, elementary- and middle-school aged kids.

This book will not be for everyone. It's not an "easy-road-to-parenting" type resource. Not everyone will agree with her approach, and I realize her ideas won't work for every family. But I think it will challenge anyone who reads it to stop and consider the level of intention that goes into their everyday parenting. I know it's definitely done that for me.

It's Been a Long Week

In the midst of praying for, worrying about, and keeping updated on Zoe's condition, we've had our own bouts of sickness here. Little Man ended up with a double ear infection, and I picked up some sort of sinus-infection-thingie along the way. Throw in a stressful week at work for Hubby and you've got the makings of one stressed-out family.

I'm ashamed to say we didn't necessarily handle it the best way, and I really have no one to blame but myself. Touting my sickness and mental and emotional exhaustion as an excuse, I once again lost the battle with my emotions. (See "Deep Thought Monday" for more info on the battle to control my emotional freight train.)

I was deeply convicted yesterday when I realized (yes, again) that my attitude sets the stage for the environment of my family. The old saying, "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" carries more weight than most people realize. At least I never realized how appropriate it was, but I'm starting to.

That's why I was so encouraged once again by Sally Clarkson of I Take Joy. I was a bit behind in reading, so today I read her post from last week, "Fussing, fussing, fussing, and how to tame it!" (how appropriate, huh?). My favorite quote was:

I have been convicted over the years, that the first place of creating a peaceful environment in my home must start with me. I am responsible to God to seek to love and serve others because of His love for me.

Once again, Sally gives me something to think about...and something to strive for.

Happy Birthday America!

As we celebrate the anniversary of our nation's independence today, there are so many things I am thankful for--the freedom to worship whomever and however I choose, to express myself through speech either private or public, the godly heritage on which our founding fathers chose to establish this great country (even if we've drifted far from it!), and most of all the freedom to train my children in the faith without fear of persecution or imprisonment.

I know our country is not perfect. All you have to do is watch the news for a few minutes to discover all that is wrong with our country (especially in an election year!). But today is a day to focus on all that is right with our country. There is so much for which we should be thankful. We live in a great, prosperous country, and I hope you take the time today to celebrate that.

Before I go, I want to share some great pictures that I believe capture the heart of "Americana." They were all taken by my brother-in-law. You can visit his gallery here.

The "Old Farmhouse" that belonged to Hubby's grandparents

My in-laws' log cabin

Happy 4th of July, everyone! Enjoy your time with family and friends!

The Great Conspirators, Episode 2

When we last left our tiresome duo, Little Miss and Little Man were deep in the workings of Operation Exhausted Mommy. (Read the first episode here.) We join them now several days later...

Little Man had underestimated his stamina--or was it that Mother had won the battle of wills in the night waking department? Either way, L'il Man began to neglect his nighttime wakings for the luxury of sweet sleep. He was growing accustomed to 10-11 hrs a night, much to Mother's glee. However, he and Little Miss had formulated a new plan: L'il Man grew weary around 7:30, which meant he would be awake and refreshed between 6:00 and 6:30 the following morning. L'il Miss could last late into the evening, sometimes as far as 9:00, with endless requests for "one more drink", another trip to the potty, or a simple, sweet request for Mother to "stay one minute." This left Mother (and Father) little, precious time to finish their daily chores, spend a few quiet moments alone together, and retire at a reasonable hour to prepare for the early wakings of L'il Man. It was working beautifully when another phase of their masterminded plan began to evolve.

Again, no one knows when or how it happened, but either L'il Miss or L'il Man had the genius idea of drafting the family pet, Chester, into Operation Exhuasted Mommy. They did not know that long ago, when Chester was a mere pup, he had instigated the original plan to wear Mother to sheer exhuastion. But Mother proved stronger than he realized, and he eventually wore down and succumbed to her need for sleep. But now that he had two comrades in arms, the plan was once again a possibility. It was simple really...on the mornings when L'il Man neglected to wake Mother early enough, Chester would take over the responsibility by coming to Mother's room and jingling his collar, whining at her bedside, or simply panting or scratching so loudly that it was sure to wake her. If all else failed, Chester could summon the "Barking Brigade"--a chain of canines throughout the neighborhood who, upon special request, would set in motion a loud, obnoxious chorus of barking promptly at 5:30 a.m. The chorus would last just long enough for Mother go be completely awake so that she could not easily return to slumber.

And that is what happened this morning. Chester, sensing that L'il Man was neglecting his early-morning post, set in motion the Barking Brigade, which promptly woke L'il Man, who then babbled loudly until he woke L'il Miss. The only thing that saved Mother's sanity was the chivalry of Father who sweetly offered to get up with L'il Man. Of course Mother was so awake by then, there was no going back to sleep...the plan was working beautifully.

Will Father's self-sacrifice and chivalry be able to save Mother's sanity, or will The Great Conspirators (now that there are 3!) win out? Stay tuned...

Conspirator #3--Chester

Happy (Belated) Father's Day!!

We were too busy yesterday having some family fun (and then avoiding the weird, brief hailstorm that suddenly popped up) to post a Father's Day wish for my husband, so here it is:

Happy Father's Day to my best friend, my soulmate, the love of my life, and lucky for me, the father of my beautiful children! You are the best, Babe! Thank you for being the wonderful husband and father that you are!

My Boys

The Great Conspirators

There once lived two young children in a small Midwestern town, a Little Miss and a Little Man. The Little Miss loved her brother dearly, for in him she found a kindred soul and a fellow conspirator. You see, at a very young age, Little Miss had determined that her Mother was so well rested from her many years of sleep that she should never need to sleep again.

As an infant, Little Miss would wait patiently and quietly until Mother's work was done and the weary woman laid her head to rest. That was the signal to Little Miss that her work should begin. She would cry, fuss, talk, squirm, wiggle, giggle, or make any noise imaginable to keep Mother from sleeping. It didn't matter if it was the middle of the day, or the darkest night, Little Miss rose dutifully to her calling. Eventually, however, even she wore out and began to neglect her duties of rousing Mother from slumber. This caused Mother to once again grow accustomed to the tantalizing ritual of blessed sleep.

When Little Man entered the picture, Little Miss was reminded of her mission. Having grown accustomed herself to a good night's sleep, an evil plan began to form in her sweet little head. With a partner in crime, she could split the Mother-waking duties and not neglect her own blissful rest. To this day no one knows how or when it happened, but Little Miss and Little Man put their heads together and hatched a plan. Thus, The Great Conspirators were formed. Little Man agreed to take over the night watch, Little Miss would rule the days.

Little Man would wait patiently for Mother to finish her endless tasks of the day and fall lifeless into bed. Then his work would begin. However, he worked a little differently than Little Miss. Instead of crying (for he is a generally happy baby), he would simply sit or stand in his crib and loudly proclaim, "ya, ya, ya...da, da, da...ma, ma, ma." Then--and this is the ingenious part--he would be silent long enough for Mother to assume he had gone back to sleep and begin to drift off herself at which time he would start the whole chorus over again. The beauty of it was he could do this for hours!

Little Miss was pleased with her new apprentice. He was catching on quickly, and he had talents she hadn't even dreamed of such as constant motion from the time he woke to the time he slept--an added bonus in Operation Exhausted Mommy! All Little Miss had to do now was hold up her end of the arrangement...and what 3-year-old doesn't enjoy an endless barrage of questions, requests, demands, and tantrums from morning until night? Before long they will have accomplished their goal to wear Mother down to sheer exhaustion or drive her completely mad!

Do The Great Conspirators succeed in driving Mother over the edge? Or does Mother finally get some rest, restore her sanity, and return to reign again? Stay tuned...(even I'm not sure at this point!)

God is in the Little Things

I know I already posted a book review on Sally Clarkson's book, The Mission of Motherhood, but I wanted to share a couple of my favorite quotes from the book:

Though cultural storms attack violently each day, a solid Christian home can be a protective fortress, a haven of peace for all who live there. Those inside its walls are protected, nurtured, and nourished in body, heart, mind, and soul. Such homes need a director, guardian , and caretaker, which is what God had in mind when he designed the role of mother.

I must choose to believe that it matters that I am choosing to be with my children and slowly build their character instead of pursuing a full-time career where the results of my labor may be more immediately tangible.

Like I mentioned in the review, this book has challenged me to be more "intentional" in my parenting approach. I haven't done anything remarkable or earth-shattering. I've simply tried to "be with" my children more...and I mean actually be with them mentally as well as physically (instead of mentally running through my grocery list or "to do" list while trying to play Candyland, for example). I've also tried to capture more "teachable moments" with my daughter.

Well, God has a funny way of showing me that my minimal efforts are already beginning to pay off. Instead of the usual "I don't know" response to the weekly "what did you learn at church today?" question, we spent the afternoon building the walls of Jericho with sofa pillows, marching around them with a take-home craft tambourine, then plummeting the "walls" to the ground. Maybe it was the hands-on story or the fun tambourine craft, but something made the story stick in my little 3-year-old's brain. The Jericho reinactment was then followed by a "mock" church service complete with heartfelt worship ("Jesus Loves Me"), a powerful sermon, and three baby dedications for her dolls!

I've often found the concept of "playing church" kind of sad...children learning to "go through the motions" rather than discovering a real relationship with God. But what Clarkson's book reminded me is that the "motions" aren't so empty or trite when they come from a heart of sincerity. The goal is to achieve actions that flow out of a relationship. My responsibility is not so much to teach my children what to do or not to do, my responsibility is to model for them a real relationship with God and convey that to them through my relationship with them.

Perhaps I'm overanalyzing (it wouldn't be the first time!). It's likely that my 3-year-old is simply now at a cognitive place where she is capable of remembering and re-enacting a Bible story. But as I watched her bow her head and dedicate her baby doll to Jesus, I couldn't help but feel like God was whispering to my heart, "Look what I can do with a small thing like a little effort on your part."

The Mission of Motherhood: A Book Review

Although this isn't Sally Clarkson's most recent book (it was written in 2003), The Mission of Motherhood: Touching Your Child's Heart for Eternity is a fresh and encouraging read for any mom. The principles Clarkson presents are almost a "given" for any Christian mom; however, she presents them in a fresh way that challenges even the most "church-savvy" mom. I was greatly encouraged by Clarkson's real-life approach to parenting and motherhood. Her vast experience raising her four children shines through in her words of wisdom and insight. Yet she takes the tone of a trusted and wiser friend rather than an experienced know-it-all. I found myself challenged again to be more intentional in my parenting approach.

Here is an excerpt from the back cover of the book:

No calling is greater, nobler, or more fulfilling than that of motherhood. Every day, as we nurture our children, mothers influence eternal destiny as no one else can. Tragically, today's culture minimizes the vital importance of a mother's role. By catching a vision of God's original design and allowing it to shape your life, you can rediscover the joy and fulfillment that can be found in the strategic role to which God in all his wisdom has called you, for a purpose far greater than you can ever imagine.

I definitely recommend this book to any mom who desires to follow God's calling and be the person God has called her to be.

Music To My Ears

One of my Mother's Day gifts was the new Steven Curtis Chapman CD, This Moment. Hubby bought the CD for the song, "Cinderella." (If you haven't heard it yet, you MUST visit the SCC web site and listen to it!) But another song, "One Heartbeat At A Time," has quickly become my favorite. Not only is it amazingly appropriate for Mother's Day, it happens to be exactly what I need to hear at this moment in my life so I wanted to share the lyrics with you here. Hopefully they will be as powerful a reminder to other moms as it was to me:

One Heartbeat at a Time
by Steven Curtis Chapman from the album This Moment

You're up all night with a screaming baby
You run all day at the speed of life
And every day you feel a little bit less
Like the beautiful woman you are
So you fall into bed when you run out of hours
And you wonder if anything worth doing got done
Oh, maybe you just don't know
Or maybe you've forgotten

You, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh, you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time

With every "I know you can do it"
Every tear that you kiss away
So many little things that seem to go unnoticed
They're just like the drops of rain over time
They become a river

And you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh, you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time

You're beautiful
You're beautiful
How you're changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh, you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time

And you're changing the world

Grandma's Wisdom

While visiting my grandmother last week, I saw the following quotes on her fridge. I've seen, and read, these quotes many times throughout the years, but now that I am a Mom, they have a whole new meaning. I have no idea who to credit for them (other than my grandma), but I hope you enjoy them:

Our children may do wrong, but they must not do wrong with our
permission.

Children need love the most when they deserve it the least.