40-B4-40: Fun Mommy

**40-B4-40 is my 8-month journey in bidding adieu to my youth and embracing

the next chapter (a.k.a. decade). Thanks for joining me!**

A couple of weeks ago, the ladies in our small group were sitting around discussing "mommyhood," as moms usually do. One commented that it's her husband who is typically the "fun" one.
As she put is, "When Daddy comes home, the circus has arrived." We could all relate. It seems that, in our homes anyway, Daddy provides the fun and laughter and Mommy provides the structure and organization.

Our so-thoughtful hubbies even try to help us out occasionally by leading with something like, "Look what Mommy thought of, isn't she so fun?!" Still, our children glance our way with knowing eyes as if to say, "I'm not buying it, Dad. We all know you're the fun one!"

So, we came up with a challenge for ourselves: Create one "Fun Mommy" moment each week. It could be as simple as eating dessert first before dinner or 30 minutes of playing "Tickle Monster" on the bed. (The last one probably works better with toddlers and preschoolers than teens...just sayin'.) It simply has to be fun.

Imagine my delight, then, when I was awakened this morning by a call from Little Miss's school saying school was cancelled due to inclement weather. I had my Fun Mommy moment handed to me in our first snow day this year. Here's just a glimpse...

There was sledding

And snow angels

Then of course hot cocoa when we came in

The best part? I let go of my to-do list, embraced my aging "Fun Mommy" side, and joined in with them. I'm pretty sure my almost-"ahem"-year-old body will feel it tomorrow, but I'm also sure my kids (and I) will remember it for much longer.

What Fun Mommy moment have you created lately?

Off to First Grade!

It's that time of year again: This morning I handed over my first-born to a woman I've only met once, trusting her to impart knowledge, wisdom, and character into my child for seven hours every day. While this year was not nearly as emotional as last year's drop-off, I was surprised by the sadness I felt again when I walked out of the school.

We did a great job of soaking up every moment of the summer. We went swimming, visited family, had numerous outings, worked on craft projects, and spent plenty of time just playing and being lazy. But I still felt a twinge of regret when I walked her to her class this morning. I couldn't help but think, Did I do enough? Could I have done more? For the next 9 months, she'll spend more time with teachers and friends, and therefore be more open to their influence. Have I done enough to prepare her?

I realize this may make me sound a little paranoid. Trust me, I am not wanting to wrap my child in bubble wrap or lock her away in a tower somewhere. We love our community and our school. Her teacher last year was a God-send, and the Principal is amazing. I've heard great things about her teacher this year, and I'm sure she'll have a fantastic year.

Part of it is simply my personality; I tend to get a little sentimental and misty-eyed over any change in our lives. But aside from that, it's also the fact that we take this parenting thing pretty seriously. Yes, we have other interests and responsibilities (work, church, friendships, etc.), but they all take a backseat to investing in our family and raising our children. We made a conscious decision six years ago for me to stay home to raise our children, because we feel it is our primary responsibility to train them and teach them. While we are thankful for a church, a community, and a school that support our goals in educating and training our children, the primary responsibility falls to Hubby and myself.

So that's why it's hard for me to walk away and leave my Little Miss in the more-than-capable hands of her first-grade teacher. I'm sure in a few days the emotion of it all will fade and the stress of the morning rush take over. But for now, thank you for letting me bask in the emotion of it all again.

[Parents] do not provoke your children to anger,(C) but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4, ESV)

First Day of Kindergarten

This is it. The day I've waited for since we came home from the hospital with a tiny, pink bundle more than 5 years ago. I remember in those first few extremely-difficult days of parenthood holding my tiny pink bundle (who never seemed to stop screaming) and thinking, "I'm not sure I can do this all day every day for the next 5 years!"

I was very excited to be a mom and so blessed to have a beautiful daughter. But I had been in the workforce for ten years. I had grown accustomed to accomplishing things each day. I had come to enjoy my independence and relished having time to do things for myself...like take shower and brush my teeth. In those early days my bleary, sleep-deprived eyes couldn't see past the endless diapers, feedings, and laundry. I felt helpless, overwhelmed, and wondered if I'd make it until Hubby came home from work that day...let alone to the day she goes to school. That day seemed forever away.

The years sped by, and "that day" arrived all too quickly...today. I woke my pink-bundle-turned-princess up early, put pig-tails in her hair, made her favorite breakfast (pancakes), loaded her up with backpack and lunch box, drove her a few blocks away, and left her in the care of a complete stranger for the next seven hours. As I walked away from her classroom this morning I didn't feel relieved. I felt sad.

I have no regrets. I obviously wouldn't trade the time at home with her for anything in the world. Looking back I feel that I made the most of every moment...play dates, trips to the park, the zoo, and other fun places, cooking lessons, tea parties playing dress-up...I did it all. There were times when I probably could have left the laundry unfolded for another game of Chutes 'n' Ladders. But for the most part, I gave it my all.

I know my job as a parent is nowhere near an end. I have many more years of fun and influence to enjoy. And I still have another one at home with whom to enjoy every moment. But I will no longer have my baby to myself all day every day. She'll be under the influence of another person for the majority of her day. We will have our summers...but even then my time with her will become more and more secondary to time with friends.

I'm a little sad today. But I'm also very proud ...proud of my Little Miss who walked right into her class, hung up her backpack, found her seat, and gave me an "I'm OK, Mom, you can go now" look. I'm also thankful...thankful for a great school with faculty and staff who truly care about children, thankful for a teacher who is kind and comforting, and thankful for faith in a God who I know is with my daughter even when I am not.

Now, if you'll excuse me I have to grab some Kleenex, fix my makeup, and go pick up my baby from school.

Momentary Troubles

Ever had one of those days? I've had several lately...

A couple of weeks ago my laptop died. Last weekend the coffee maker did the same...just as I was making coffee for some guests. One day last week Little Man threw up all over the van while waiting to pick up Little Miss from preschool. (He was fine right after; his car seat and the interior of the van were another story!) Last month we learned Little Miss has a chronic eye condition that requires a lot of attention (nothing serious, but uncomfortable for her). We are on our third round of medication, none of which are working fast enough for us. Add to that the ongoing house hunt, the increasing levels of stress at Hubby's work, and Daylight Saving Time, and well, you get the idea.

So, imagine my frustration today when I logged onto our desktop (now our sole computer) and found out I had inadvertantly downloaded something that left behind a nice little gift (a.ka. spy ware and a virus). Sorry Hubby! The good news is Hubby is an IT guy and can salvage it. The bad news is...it's one more thing to fix. I'm starting to think I might have the opposite of "the Midas touch" (Shall we call it the "Nancy touch"?)

That's why I was so glad when I read a post last weekend from Frugal Coupon Living. Every Sunday she posts Treasures From Heaven, and last week's post was exactly what I needed. So much so that I read it again today, just for inspiration.

Building on her idea, I've decided to list those things in my life that are going RIGHT these days. Here goes:

• I have a wonderful husband who loves God, adores me and our children, and works hard each day to be sure we are cared for, provided for, and enjoying life.
  
• I have a beautiful, sensitive daughter whose imagination knows no bounds and who recently asked Jesus to come into her heart and be her best friend.
• I have a sweet son who amazes me every day with his intelligence, humor, and nonstop charm.
  
• I have a cozy home, food to eat, a vehicle to drive, clothes to wear, books to read, and toys to enjoy with my kids.
• We are blessed to be a part of a fabulous church where we are challenged and inspired in our faith.
• We have wonderful, caring friends with whom we can share our lives.
• I have extended family who, although I do not get to see them often enough, I know they are simply a phone call away.
• I am healthy, and I'm learning to take even better care of myself through nutrition and exercise (and feeling better because of it).
  
• Today alone I was able to buy groceries for my family, take my daughter to preschool, spend quality, one-on-one time with my son, chat with a good friend on the phone, drive through neighborhoods and "dream" a little, and give and get lots of hugs and kisses. (And the day's not over yet!)

All in all, I am very blessed. Sometimes it's hard to remember that when all I can see is everything going "wrong." Maybe I should take time more often to make lists like the one above and get a little perspective.

How's your perspective? Do you need to refocus? If so, grab a pen and paper and start listing what's going right (or what you've accomplished today). You might be amazed at how long that list is...I know I was. :)

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

--2 Corinthians 4: 16-18

Where to begin...

I sat down the other day to blog since it's been well over a month now, and I got completely overwhelmed. There's so much to catch up on I don't know where to begin. I definitely want to share pics of our amazing vacation to Colonial Williamsburg (as well as updates of Baby Zoe and all the cousins).

And of course, I wanted to share the good news that we sold our house after only three weeks on the market. Then there's the frustration of not finding a new house (at least not the one we want for the price we can afford), the sinking realization that we have to find a place to live in a few short weeks, and the slow resignation (on my part) to the fact that that place will be a temporary duplex, which is smaller than our already too-small house.

Maybe some day soon I'll blog about all those things...and all the lessons that God is teaching me along the way. But for now, I want to focus on something else that has been consuming my almost-every waking moment...my son's food allergies.

We've known for a little over a year that Little Man had a peanut allergy. It came as quite a shock, and provided to be a HUGE exercise in education and self-control for me as I come from a long line of peanut-butter-lovers. (My dad has been known to add the staple to such things as hamburgers and hot dogs!)

Just when I thought I finally had the routine down--checking labels, quizzing restaurant personnel, informing caregivers, sticking brightly-colored "Allergy Alert!" stickers all over him before putting him in the church nursery, hiding and sneaking bites of contraband PB here and there...the stakes got drastically higher.

A couple of weeks ago we visited the allergist with a simple question concerning vaccination and ended up finding out that, in addition to peanuts, Little Man is also allergic to egg and soy. Well, this provided a whole new level of education, adjustment, and more than a little stress to my life. I've known a few other moms who have struggled with food allergies in their families, but I had NO IDEA the level of stress it can cause. I have an all-new appreciation and empathy for families who deal with any type of food allergy or intolerance.

I've only begun my research, so I'm sure there is much I still do not know. But I wanted to take some time to list a few things I've discovered in the last few weeks. I hope this will be helpful to any who have, or know someone who has, food allergies.

1. Soy, soybean oil, and soy lecithin is in almost EVERY processed or prepackaged food (even organic or all-natural foods since soybeans are a natural food).
2. Some sources say soybean oil and soy lecithin do not contain the protein that causes an allergic reaction and therefore are safe. However, our allergist maintains that those ingredients can and do cause a reaction. We choose to avoid them to be safe.
3. I have yet to find a bread, tortilla, or wrap that does not contain soybean oil. I did find a whole wheat pita bread that seems to be safe.
4. It is important to check the ingredients on EVERYTHING! (I found soy listed on my cornstarch, and my friend found it as an ingredient in her flour!)
5. Some sources maintain that only raw egg contains the protein that causes allergic reaction (because heating the egg changes the protein). While Little Man has never reacted to anything with an egg cooked or baked into it, our allergist recommended avoiding it as it can cause a reaction.
6. You can use the following substitute for 1 egg in any baking recipe: combing 2 Tbsp flour, 2 Tbsp water, 1/2 tsp baking powder. (I have used this in muffins and didn't notice a difference!)
7. You can also substitute 1 Tbs of flax seed and 3 Tbs of water for 1 egg in any baking recipe. (I have not tried this yet, but found the recommendation on the side of the flax seed box.)
8. Children will likely outgrow many food allergies, including soy and egg by the time they are in preschool. The chances of outgrowing a peanut allergy is much lower.
9. Those with a peanut allergy should also avoid tree nuts (almonds, walnuts, etc.), even if they do not test as reactive to those allergens, because most plants process them together and there is a high risk of cross-contamination.
10. Soynut butter is a good substitute for peanut butter for those with peanut allergies. We used it for awhile until Little Man developed the soy allergy. (Yes, apparently they can develop an allergy to a food they've not reacted to previously.) Sunflower nut butter is also recommended as a substitute as it is not processed with nuts and therefore no risk of cross contamination. (However, the only brand I've found so far is manufactured in a plant that processes soybeans!)

I'll share more as I learn. Right now I'm working on "tweaking" some of our favorite recipes to be Little-Man-friendly and will post some once they've been tested and approved. :)

If you know someone who has food allergies, I recommend the the Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis Network web site. It's a wealth of information. If you have food allergies, what tips and tricks have you learned along the way? I'd love to hear from you!

God, Our Protector

We've had an interesting start to 2009. Today the kiddos and I were involved in a car accident. We are all OK, but our minivan (and main mode of kiddo-transportation) is, for the moment, undrivable.

We are definitely counting our blessings tonight--we are not seriously injured and, by all accounts, our vehicle is fixable. The other vehicle hit the passenger side (the side Little Miss sits on); a few seconds earlier into the intersection would have resulted in a direct hit to her door. I won't allow myself to even think what that would have meant. I am simply so grateful for a God who watches over us.

For (God) will command his angels concerning you to guard you in
all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will
not strike your foot against a stone. -Psalm 91:11,12

I am simply grateful that He charges His angels with the task of protecting my little angels...especially when I cannot.

The Ministry of Motherhood: A Book Review

I recently finished the first book on my Fall Into Reading 2008 list. I had read The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson and was anxious to read this "follow-up" book of hers as well. As always, Sally's message both encouraged and challenged me in my role as "mom." I knew I would like this book as I always love reading her blog, I Take Joy.

This particular book, however, seemed to really "hit me where I am." I could especially relate to one paragraph in the introduction:

"I realized with the passing of each day that spiritual and emotional
maturity in the lives of my children would not just happen because I wished it
so. It would not just happen as a result of the passive example of my being
good. Effective emotional, spiritual, and social training in the lives of my
children would have to be both intentional and planned."

With a preschooler and now a toddler, my days are increasingly busy. Most of the time I feel as if I'm barely keeping up, and often I'm just falling behind. At the same time, I realize how fleeting the time with my children is and I want to do all I can to pour into them. I want to give them so much more than just knowledge. I want to give them the foundation they need to realize and experience their own faith in Christ, to meet the world with the truths of God's Word, and to develop social skills to help them feel comfortable with themselves and confident with others.

Sally does an amazing job of outlining the truths that she and her husband strove to impart to their children. She doesn't do it with a "you-have-to-do-it-this-way" attitude. But she does give you the tools to recognize what values are truly important and how to effectively communicate them in your family. Even if your children are older, Sally's book is a treasure of information. Many of the ideas and suggested activities that she lists are for older, elementary- and middle-school aged kids.

This book will not be for everyone. It's not an "easy-road-to-parenting" type resource. Not everyone will agree with her approach, and I realize her ideas won't work for every family. But I think it will challenge anyone who reads it to stop and consider the level of intention that goes into their everyday parenting. I know it's definitely done that for me.

It's Been a Long Week

In the midst of praying for, worrying about, and keeping updated on Zoe's condition, we've had our own bouts of sickness here. Little Man ended up with a double ear infection, and I picked up some sort of sinus-infection-thingie along the way. Throw in a stressful week at work for Hubby and you've got the makings of one stressed-out family.

I'm ashamed to say we didn't necessarily handle it the best way, and I really have no one to blame but myself. Touting my sickness and mental and emotional exhaustion as an excuse, I once again lost the battle with my emotions. (See "Deep Thought Monday" for more info on the battle to control my emotional freight train.)

I was deeply convicted yesterday when I realized (yes, again) that my attitude sets the stage for the environment of my family. The old saying, "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" carries more weight than most people realize. At least I never realized how appropriate it was, but I'm starting to.

That's why I was so encouraged once again by Sally Clarkson of I Take Joy. I was a bit behind in reading, so today I read her post from last week, "Fussing, fussing, fussing, and how to tame it!" (how appropriate, huh?). My favorite quote was:

I have been convicted over the years, that the first place of creating a peaceful environment in my home must start with me. I am responsible to God to seek to love and serve others because of His love for me.

Once again, Sally gives me something to think about...and something to strive for.

"Me" Time Makes for a Happier Mommy

When I was single, I had a lot of time to myself. While I managed to stay busy between my full-time job, freelance writing, volunteer work, and social events there was still plenty of time for me and my thoughts...driving alone in my car, lying in bed at night, sitting alone in my office, etc.
Now that my second child is almost a year old, I'm realizing it's been a long time since I've managed to have a complete, uninterrupted thought to myself. I usually wake up to the sound of a child's chatter (which continues non-stop throughout my day). Nap times and evenings are filled with endless "to do" lists and much-needed conversations with Hubby. Then I fall into bed drift off to sleep before any coherent thought has time to develop. My girlfriends and I try to get together regularly for a fun and refreshing night out. But it doesn't exactly qualify as "me" time as it's also filled with endless chatter.

When I became a mother, I felt guilty taking any time for myself. After all, there were children to be tended to, a house to be kept, and a husband to be nurtured. But recently, I've noticed that my lack of time to myself is taking it's toll. I feel more irritable and less focused on what's important. I begin to snap at others over the littlest things. Not long ago, I read that every mother should take 15 minutes for herself every day, 1-2 hours every week, and an overnight getaway every six months. That sounded great to me!

So, I've taken some steps to make sure I get some "quality" time alone, realizing that it helps me be a better wife and mother. I've also tried to recognize those times that I'm running on empty and need to take an evening to refuel. Some of these things have required some sacrifices in other areas, but they are all well worth it. Here are some things I've tried to do recently to get some "me" time:

• Walk the dog. Although I have to sacrifice sleep by getting up 30 minutes earlier, it's proven to help start me day right. Besides great "me" time, it's great exercise, and very energizing to get outside as the world is waking up.
  
• Take a nap. When my children were newborns, it was easy to forgo the laundry and dirty dishes to catch some zzzz's. But now that everyone sleeps through the night I feel guilty taking a nap, no matter how needed it is. However, I'm learning that a quick 15-20 minute nap can get me through the remainder of my day.
  
• Soak in a bubble bath. Again, this usually means sacrificing something on my evening "to do" list, but it makes me so much more relaxed for the evening (and the following day!).
  
• Be still and know God. I'm ashamed to admit that when my children came along, but prayer and Scripture-reading routine took a major blow. But I'm discovering that I don't have to mark out an hour of time for personal devotion. Ten to fifteen minutes in God's presence and a few verses from His Word helps me keep my perspective and gives me strength to carry on.
  
• Go to bed when the kids do. I'm a night-owl by nature, so turning in at 8:30 or 9:00 goes against everything in me. But on those nights when my body is screaming for rest and I don't know how I'll go on, I've learned it's better to just go to sleep than try to "push through the pain." (That benefits no one in the end...it only delays the inevitable, sleep-deprived meltdown!)
  
• Hide. If all else fails, and I can't seem to even catch 10 minutes alone, I've been known to locking myself in the bathroom for 5 minutes of peace and (somewhat) quiet. My house is childproofed, so leaving them to play in their rooms for 5 minutes while Mommy regains her sanity (still within earshot in case of an emergency) is sometimes the best thing I can do for my children.

I was very blessed this last weekend to have the entire weekend to myself. Hubby took the kids to Grandma and Grandpa's while I stayed behind to work our annual Yard Sale. It was an exhausting weekend of wheeling and dealing on the hottest two days on record this year. But it was nice to have the evenings (and nights) to myself and reclaim "my" time. I missed them all terribly, but I know it was good for us all as they came home to a more rested and happy Mommy.

How do you make time for yourself to "recharge"?

Carry-On: A Book Review

Excerpted from the back cover:

In one entertaining and enlightening book, Scotty Gibbons unpacks 15 years in student ministry at one of America's fastest growing churches. Scotty's proven principles will encourage and equip you (and the leaders around you) to go the distance.

I met Scotty Gibbons 15 years ago when I interviewed with him to become a volunteer leader in the youth ministry. I served under Scotty's leadership for seven amazing, challenging, and life-changing years. He poured into me as a leader and a friend. Many of the principles I learned from him have helped mold the person I am today--not only in leadership, but in personal discipline, interaction with others, and basic communication.

Although I am not currently involved in youth ministry, I wanted to read Scotty's book because he is an amazing communicator and a good friend. I wasn't disappointed. While Carry-On is a must-have resource for anyone involved in youth ministry, the leadership principles Scotty writes about are beneficial for life in general. As always, I found Scotty challenging me in my personal life as well. And I found many of the principles applicable to my role as a mother (if you simply substitute the word "ministry" for "motherhood" because after all, that's what motherhood is.)

If you're involved in youth ministry (or ministry of any sort, really) I highly recommend this resource. (You can order it here.) You can check out what Scotty and his staff are currently up to at their Realife web site, or visit Scotty's blog.

The Great Conspirators, Episode 2

When we last left our tiresome duo, Little Miss and Little Man were deep in the workings of Operation Exhausted Mommy. (Read the first episode here.) We join them now several days later...

Little Man had underestimated his stamina--or was it that Mother had won the battle of wills in the night waking department? Either way, L'il Man began to neglect his nighttime wakings for the luxury of sweet sleep. He was growing accustomed to 10-11 hrs a night, much to Mother's glee. However, he and Little Miss had formulated a new plan: L'il Man grew weary around 7:30, which meant he would be awake and refreshed between 6:00 and 6:30 the following morning. L'il Miss could last late into the evening, sometimes as far as 9:00, with endless requests for "one more drink", another trip to the potty, or a simple, sweet request for Mother to "stay one minute." This left Mother (and Father) little, precious time to finish their daily chores, spend a few quiet moments alone together, and retire at a reasonable hour to prepare for the early wakings of L'il Man. It was working beautifully when another phase of their masterminded plan began to evolve.

Again, no one knows when or how it happened, but either L'il Miss or L'il Man had the genius idea of drafting the family pet, Chester, into Operation Exhuasted Mommy. They did not know that long ago, when Chester was a mere pup, he had instigated the original plan to wear Mother to sheer exhuastion. But Mother proved stronger than he realized, and he eventually wore down and succumbed to her need for sleep. But now that he had two comrades in arms, the plan was once again a possibility. It was simple really...on the mornings when L'il Man neglected to wake Mother early enough, Chester would take over the responsibility by coming to Mother's room and jingling his collar, whining at her bedside, or simply panting or scratching so loudly that it was sure to wake her. If all else failed, Chester could summon the "Barking Brigade"--a chain of canines throughout the neighborhood who, upon special request, would set in motion a loud, obnoxious chorus of barking promptly at 5:30 a.m. The chorus would last just long enough for Mother go be completely awake so that she could not easily return to slumber.

And that is what happened this morning. Chester, sensing that L'il Man was neglecting his early-morning post, set in motion the Barking Brigade, which promptly woke L'il Man, who then babbled loudly until he woke L'il Miss. The only thing that saved Mother's sanity was the chivalry of Father who sweetly offered to get up with L'il Man. Of course Mother was so awake by then, there was no going back to sleep...the plan was working beautifully.

Will Father's self-sacrifice and chivalry be able to save Mother's sanity, or will The Great Conspirators (now that there are 3!) win out? Stay tuned...

Conspirator #3--Chester

Ode to Sick Days

Sorry it's been a few days since my last post. It seems that life has suddenly gone full speed ahead and not for any reason in particular.

Have you ever had one of those days where you wish you could just shut down for the day, stay in your PJs, watch old movies on TV, and not think about anything you need to be doing or anything that someone is expecting you to do? It's for that very reason that I sometimes miss working. I firmly believe that those days are the reason God invented sick days. I am fortunate to be a relatively healthy person, so I saw no harm in taking the occasional "mental health" day while on my career path.

But one of the drawbacks to parenting is that there are no sick days. While I technically could stay in my PJs all day (I would only receive funny looks from the door-to-door salesmen that inundate our neighborhood on a daily basis), I cannot mentally "shut down" for the day. There are children to be fed, changed, napped, entertained, and otherwise stimulated emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, and well you get the idea.

I found GREAT encouragement in Sally Clarkson's post last week, "Ode to Tired Mamas." It came at a time when I really needed it...suffering from the exhaustion of having a son who's decided that 5:30 is an appropriate time to start our day! I did have a relaxing and refreshing weekend, however (thanks to Hubby taking over the early-bird wake-up calls), so I can't blame my current state entirely on lack of sleep, although I'm sure it contributes. So, whether it's fatigue, stress, lack of nutrition (what chocolate chips aren't a major food group?), or the status of the barometric pressure...we may never know the cause. Either way, I am taking Sally's advice and making some time to recharge...compliments of Breyer's Vanilla Bean ice cream (don't forget the chocolate chips and Hershey's syrup!) and a quiet evening of mindless TV watching...then off to bed early HOPEFULLY!

Maybe that will be enough to kickstart my creativity and I'll be back with a witty and compelling post that will leave you laughing and crying. Or, maybe I'll just be back with more of the same...you'll have to wait and see. :)

Taking Joy in the Little Things

A few weeks ago, I posted a review of Sally Clarkson's book, The Mission of Motherhood: Touching Your Child's Heart for Eternity. As I was reading Sally's blog (I Take Joy), I came across Ms. Clarkson's e-mail address. On a whim, sent her an e-mail explaining how much her book meant to me, the impact it had on me and my parenting, and thanking her for her ministry. I know someone of her position (author, speaker, blogger, mother of 4, etc.) has at least a million pressing things to do at any given moment. I hoped that my e-mail might actually get read, but I definitely didn't expect a reply. Imagine my surprise when I opened my inbox the other day to find an e-mail from Sally Clarkson herself!


The fact that Ms. Clarkson took the time to e-mail me was a huge encouragement in herself, but what she said to me was even more encouraging. Her words of affirmation and support for my decision to stay home with my children, and her recognition of the fact that that isn't always an easy role were so soothing to my soul. I'd like to share just one line from her e-mail that I found so encouraging:

"I have not always found my choices easy, but I see the results in the great souls of my children."


As a mother on "this side" of parenting (just starting out), it was so encouraging to me to hear that from a mother on the "other side" (whose children are all grown). To know that it was also difficult for her, but that the tough choices paid off is in itself a huge encouragement to me. I'm sure I will revisit those words in the days and months to come. Thank you again, Sally.


On another note, we took advantage of the beautiful weather today to go on a little scavenger hunt. It was so much fun to watch my Little Miss diligently searching for a rock or flower to put in her makeshift "bag." It was such a simple outing, but it meant so much to her. It was the first thing she told Daddy about when he got home, and continued reliving it through dinner.


While on our hunt, Little Miss was taken with this tiny angel statue on our route. She stopped abruptly, stroked it's little head, and said, "Aww...look Mommy!" I was so taken with her sweetness, I could hardly notice the statue. Fortunately, I had my camera on hand to capture the moment of my angel with her angel.


It was a good day.

Rainy Friday

I love rainy days. I always have. I've always love one thing more than any other about rainy days--naps. But today my love for rainy day naps was surprised by something even greater--rainy day naps with my daughter.

As you may have guessed, it's raining here today. Not just raining. It's a veritable deluge, complete with nonstop thunder, lightning, and even a bit of hail. So when naptime rolled around, our usual ritual gave way to my lying down with my Little Miss who happens to be a bit skiddish of the thunder. I drifted off momentarily and woke to the beautiful sound of the rain on the roof and the steady, deep breathing of my sleeping child next to me. So, of course, I had to lie there for a while and soak it all in, making a mental picture and recording every detail to draw upon in the future (like the next time she throws herself on the floor in a tantrum!). I know we can't know what heaven will be like, but I'm pretty sure this afternoon I had a small taste of what it will feel like.

The Great Conspirators

There once lived two young children in a small Midwestern town, a Little Miss and a Little Man. The Little Miss loved her brother dearly, for in him she found a kindred soul and a fellow conspirator. You see, at a very young age, Little Miss had determined that her Mother was so well rested from her many years of sleep that she should never need to sleep again.

As an infant, Little Miss would wait patiently and quietly until Mother's work was done and the weary woman laid her head to rest. That was the signal to Little Miss that her work should begin. She would cry, fuss, talk, squirm, wiggle, giggle, or make any noise imaginable to keep Mother from sleeping. It didn't matter if it was the middle of the day, or the darkest night, Little Miss rose dutifully to her calling. Eventually, however, even she wore out and began to neglect her duties of rousing Mother from slumber. This caused Mother to once again grow accustomed to the tantalizing ritual of blessed sleep.

When Little Man entered the picture, Little Miss was reminded of her mission. Having grown accustomed herself to a good night's sleep, an evil plan began to form in her sweet little head. With a partner in crime, she could split the Mother-waking duties and not neglect her own blissful rest. To this day no one knows how or when it happened, but Little Miss and Little Man put their heads together and hatched a plan. Thus, The Great Conspirators were formed. Little Man agreed to take over the night watch, Little Miss would rule the days.

Little Man would wait patiently for Mother to finish her endless tasks of the day and fall lifeless into bed. Then his work would begin. However, he worked a little differently than Little Miss. Instead of crying (for he is a generally happy baby), he would simply sit or stand in his crib and loudly proclaim, "ya, ya, ya...da, da, da...ma, ma, ma." Then--and this is the ingenious part--he would be silent long enough for Mother to assume he had gone back to sleep and begin to drift off herself at which time he would start the whole chorus over again. The beauty of it was he could do this for hours!

Little Miss was pleased with her new apprentice. He was catching on quickly, and he had talents she hadn't even dreamed of such as constant motion from the time he woke to the time he slept--an added bonus in Operation Exhausted Mommy! All Little Miss had to do now was hold up her end of the arrangement...and what 3-year-old doesn't enjoy an endless barrage of questions, requests, demands, and tantrums from morning until night? Before long they will have accomplished their goal to wear Mother down to sheer exhaustion or drive her completely mad!

Do The Great Conspirators succeed in driving Mother over the edge? Or does Mother finally get some rest, restore her sanity, and return to reign again? Stay tuned...(even I'm not sure at this point!)

The Mission of Motherhood: A Book Review

Although this isn't Sally Clarkson's most recent book (it was written in 2003), The Mission of Motherhood: Touching Your Child's Heart for Eternity is a fresh and encouraging read for any mom. The principles Clarkson presents are almost a "given" for any Christian mom; however, she presents them in a fresh way that challenges even the most "church-savvy" mom. I was greatly encouraged by Clarkson's real-life approach to parenting and motherhood. Her vast experience raising her four children shines through in her words of wisdom and insight. Yet she takes the tone of a trusted and wiser friend rather than an experienced know-it-all. I found myself challenged again to be more intentional in my parenting approach.

Here is an excerpt from the back cover of the book:

No calling is greater, nobler, or more fulfilling than that of motherhood. Every day, as we nurture our children, mothers influence eternal destiny as no one else can. Tragically, today's culture minimizes the vital importance of a mother's role. By catching a vision of God's original design and allowing it to shape your life, you can rediscover the joy and fulfillment that can be found in the strategic role to which God in all his wisdom has called you, for a purpose far greater than you can ever imagine.

I definitely recommend this book to any mom who desires to follow God's calling and be the person God has called her to be.

Crisis of Self

I started this post earlier today about how I sometimes don't know who I am anymore...how motherhood has changed me, and I sometimes wonder what my identity is, blah, blah, blah...
But the kids woke up and I never got it finished.

Then I had an interesting encounter tonight at the grocery store. One of the cashiers was giving another cashier a hard time because she said she'd never had a drink of alcohol. He, on the other hand, was going on and on about how he was going home to drink because it was his birthday. So, he looked at me and said, "Boy, she doesn't know what she's missing, does she?" And I just shrugged and said, "I wouldn't know. I've never had a drink either." That pretty much floored him. I guess he never thought he'd encounter anyone who didn't share his enthusiasm for alcohol...let alone two people!

As I came home to finish my "woe-is-me" post, God reminded me of that guy. I realized that I'm still the same person I've always been. I have roughly the same story I've always had...good girl raised in church, loved God her whole life, very few tales of rebellion, etc. etc. It's just that now I have a few more chapters to include...met a wonderful boy, got married, had two beautiful children, and so on. I was the "girl who didn't party" in high school, and I guess I'm still that girl...all grown up (and hopefully a little wiser about some things).

It may not sound all that profound to you, but it was a great comfort to me--that for as much as motherhood, and life in general, has changed me I'm still the girl who dreamed of doing great things for God one day. I guess when you change enough diapers and make enough bottles, you begin to wonder if all those dreams of "great things" were just that...dreams. But my encounter tonight with the "raging alcoholic" (as he jokingly referred to himself after our conversation) made me realize that those "great things" can still be accomplished. It just might not happen in a stadium packed with teenagers or a conference of church leaders. It might simply happen in the checkout lane at the grocery store when a casual conversation makes a person realize that there's something more out there. Please don't misunderstand...I'm in no way campaigning for the next Prohibition movement. I'm just saying that hopefully now this cashier realizes that there are people who live differently than he does. And maybe someday, if he's searching for something more in his life, he'll remember that. And maybe God will use it to reach him. And if not, maybe there will be someone else...

So I guess in the meantime I continue to change diapers, and make bottles, and go grocery shopping...and pray that God will use me to impact others...one conversation at a time.

Oh Wretched Sleep, Thou Dost Mock Me

I love sleep. I have always loved sleep. It probably runs a close second to chocolate in my "most favorite indulgences" list. However, as a mother of two small children (3 yrs and 7 months), it's not something I see much of these days.

That wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the person I become without my precious sleep. My usual patient, kind, loving self morphs into a gripey, frustrated monster of sorts who snaps at her husband and loses patience with her children over the smallest things. I am, of course, instantly regretful, but how I wish I would stop it BEFORE it happens. I seem to have no problem with that when I'm well-rested. Something in my brain is able to throw a switch and say, "Wait....cool it! It's not that big a deal." Actually, the switch doesn't usually have to intervene when I've had sleep. I'm fairly laid back and have a relatively high "deal with it" factor. But when I'm sleep-deprived, it's a WHOLE 'nother story, sister!

Why is that? There are people who can function, and function well, mind you, on 4-5 hrs of sleep a night. I AM NOT one of them! I need a good 7-9 hrs a night! (I don't remember the last time I saw 7 hrs of sleep in one night...let alone 7 CONSECUTIVE hours!) Is it a physical need? Doctors and scientists say that we need 8 hrs of sleep a night. So, if that's the case, why would God create in babies an innate need to be up all hours of the night then be ready to start their day at 5:30 a.m.?! Is it a psychological need? Do I just THINK I need that much sleep? And if so, why does my brain go foggy and my body ache, no matter how much caffeine I consume, when I get little sleep?

These are the questions that plague my sleep-deprived brain these days. Alas, the answers may never be found. Until then, I will continually remind myself of the words God gave the Apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:9: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Weakness...yep, that's me. I'm right there with you, Paul. (Hmmm....do you think Paul had small children?)