When I was single, I had a lot of time to myself. While I managed to stay busy between my full-time job, freelance writing, volunteer work, and social events there was still plenty of time for me and my thoughts...driving alone in my car, lying in bed at night, sitting alone in my office, etc.
Now that my second child is almost a year old, I'm realizing it's been a long time since I've managed to have a complete, uninterrupted thought to myself. I usually wake up to the sound of a child's chatter (which continues non-stop throughout my day).
Nap times and evenings are filled with endless "to do" lists and much-needed conversations with Hubby. Then I fall into bed drift off to sleep before any coherent thought has time to develop. My girlfriends and I try to get together regularly for a fun and refreshing night out. But it doesn't exactly qualify as "me" time as it's also filled with endless chatter.
When I became a mother, I felt guilty taking any time for myself.
After all, there were children to be tended to, a house to be kept, and a husband to be nurtured. But recently, I've noticed that my lack of time to myself is taking it's toll. I feel more irritable and less focused on what's important. I begin to snap at others over the littlest things. Not long ago, I read that every mother should take 15 minutes for herself every day, 1-2 hours every week, and an overnight getaway every six months. That sounded
great to me!
So, I've taken some steps to make sure I get some "quality" time alone, realizing that it helps me be a better wife and mother. I've also tried to recognize those times that I'm running on empty and need to take an evening to refuel. Some of these things have required some sacrifices in other areas, but they are all well worth it. Here are some things I've tried to do recently to get some "me" time:
- Walk the dog. Although I have to sacrifice sleep by getting up 30 minutes earlier, it's proven to help start me day right. Besides great "me" time, it's great exercise, and very energizing to get outside as the world is waking up.
- Take a nap. When my children were newborns, it was easy to forgo the laundry and dirty dishes to catch some zzzz's. But now that everyone sleeps through the night I feel guilty taking a nap, no matter how needed it is. However, I'm learning that a quick 15-20 minute nap can get me through the remainder of my day.
- Soak in a bubble bath. Again, this usually means sacrificing something on my evening "to do" list, but it makes me so much more relaxed for the evening (and the following day!).
- Be still and know God. I'm ashamed to admit that when my children came along, but prayer and Scripture-reading routine took a major blow. But I'm discovering that I don't have to mark out an hour of time for personal devotion. Ten to fifteen minutes in God's presence and a few verses from His Word helps me keep my perspective and gives me strength to carry on.
- Go to bed when the kids do. I'm a night-owl by nature, so turning in at 8:30 or 9:00 goes against everything in me. But on those nights when my body is screaming for rest and I don't know how I'll go on, I've learned it's better to just go to sleep than try to "push through the pain." (That benefits no one in the end...it only delays the inevitable, sleep-deprived meltdown!)
- Hide. If all else fails, and I can't seem to even catch 10 minutes alone, I've been known to locking myself in the bathroom for 5 minutes of peace and (somewhat) quiet. My house is childproofed, so leaving them to play in their rooms for 5 minutes while Mommy regains her sanity (still within earshot in case of an emergency) is sometimes the best thing I can do for my children.
I was very blessed this last weekend to have the entire weekend to myself. Hubby took the kids to Grandma and Grandpa's while I stayed behind to work our annual Yard Sale. It was an
exhausting weekend of wheeling and dealing on the hottest two days on record this year. But it was nice to have the evenings (and nights) to myself and reclaim "my" time. I missed them all terribly, but I know it was good for us all as they came home to a more rested and happy Mommy.
How do you make time for yourself to "recharge"?
Last night we got a call that my youngest sister had gone into labor at only 34 weeks. There was obvious worry and concern, coupled with much prayer for my sister and the baby. Because Sis and her family live in a small, rural town her doctor had to travel an hour to arrive at the hospital. When the doctor finally arrived, they decided to take deliver the baby via C-section.
