Rainy Day

I apologize in advance that this will not be the spectacular post that I promised. It's raining today; however, the dreary weather actually matches my mood. My son was up every hour last night (sometimes more than that). So Hubby, Son, and myself probably each got 3-4 hours of sleep. I thought for sure it was an ear infection, but this morning the doc said, "it's just teeth." Wow, who know a few tiny teeth could cause such a disturbance! (My daughter's teeth all came in with relative ease.)

My sadness isn't solely from lack of sleep. It's also from the realization that my son's tiny little body is in so much pain. I thought as I held him last night that there is no worse feeling in the world than knowing your child is in pain and not having the power to do anything about it. There is nothing that can make a mother feel more powerless and helpless. I know there are children in much worse pain than he is in--children who face serious disease, illness, or injury. I do not discount their pain or that of their parents. I cannot imagine bearing that sort of load as a parent...my heart goes out to those who must do so. I know my son will see even greater pain in the days ahead...there will be bumped heads, scraped knees, maybe even stitches or broken bones some day. But last night, as I watched him struggle to sleep and listened to him cry in pain and frustration, none of that mattered. All I could think is, my son is in pain and I don't know how to help him.

As I type this, I've come to an obvious (yet, not-so-obvious to me until right now) conclusion...God must hurt so much for us as we endure pain--either self-induced or simply as a result of the fallen world in which we live. So, bear with me as I make yet another God-is-our-loving-parent analogy. Unlike me, He does have the power to stop our pain, but sometimes He chooses not to. If I were all-powerful (YIKES!), I would stop my children from ever feeling or knowing pain. But God is so much smarter than I am. He knows that by enduring the pain, working through it, and trusting in Him, I will come through the pain a stronger person. My faith will be strengthened and I will be a better wife, mother, sister, neighbor, friend for having gone through it. That doesn't mean it hurts me any less (nor does He enjoy seeing my pain). But He's right there with me the whole time...holding me, telling me how much He loves me (even when I'm screaming at him to make the pain go away)..until finally, the pain is over, and I have grown from it. That must be why He tells us in James 1:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,
because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.
Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not
lacking anything. (James 1:2-4)

I told you He's a lot smarter than I am!

P.S. See, this is why I write...it helps me process my sometimes-out-of-control emotions and come to a rational conclusion! :) Now, off to find some chocolate.